Steps to Recognizing an Abusive Man

  • Watch out for very possessive and controlling guys. They are more likely to become abusive.
  • Monitor his jealousy and insecurity levels. Does he overreact when you spend time with others? Does he dislike your friends for no apparent reason? Does he accuse you of cheating?
  • Be aware of violence or threats of violence. This is never acceptable behavior. Has he ever shoved or hit you? These are the most obvious signs of an abuser. Has he ever thrown things at you? Has he threatened to do any of these things? Is he physically threatening with other people? Does he punch walls, doors, or other inanimate objects? Try to find out about his fighting history. If he has been in lots of fights with other guys, you know that he’s violent. These are the most obvious signs of an abuser.
  • Don’t get taken in by the way he cries and rationalizes his behavior. He will use your sympathy to get to you. He may even try to manipulate you by making it seem like it’s your fault.
  • Notice if he tries to remove you from public places in order to abuse you.
  • See if he belittles you all the time. Does he ever call you names? Hurtful names that you have repeatedly begged him not to call you? If there are children in the relationship, does he belittle you to them?
  • Watch how he talks to or about your parents or your friends. Is he rude or unkind? Or is he a completely different person when others are around, so much that it seems that he’s two different people?
  • Be aware of him trying to make you feel guilty. Such as “It was your fault that happened, and I did nothing, I just tried to keep you from hurting me.”
  • Look for patterns. People who are abusive in relationships are often abusive in other situations. Abusing other family members, such as parents, hurting pets, road-rage, or even personal abuse in the form of drugs or alcohol are all things to be aware of.
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