In today’s world of globalization and highly competitive business world, success is not just about academic accomplishments, technical skills and experience. Your self confidence in expressing your attitude, competence, credibility, professionalism and status together with a good self esteem and self image of yourself is extremely vital in giving you that extra edge when it matters most. Therefore, developing your self confidence and self esteem by improving your personal image through good personal grooming & social etiquette can help you compete successful in this highly competitive environment.
You will be pleasantly surprised how much you will be able to improve your self confidence and self esteem simply by projecting a good personal image & social etiquette. Consequently, you will find yourself better able to successfully influence other people’s perceptions of you. It will certainly help your cause to project the right visual image and behavioral etiquette by adopting the following advice:-
1. Always look well groomed as this is the first thing that people will notice. For men, you should avoid the unshaven look and for the ladies, appropriate make-up to enhance your look will make a world of difference.
2. Do dress well to project your personality and professionalism. You should invest in better quality clothes that you can afford which look and feel better. Do bear in mind that price is not always an indication of quality. Instead check on the craftsmanship and the fabric used. Image consultant have also emphasize that the color of your clothing should match your make-up and accessories to enhance your appearance.e
3. The right hairstyle to suit your face and lifestyle is just as important to give you that polished and positive professional look. Do avoid the greasy and messy hairstyle.
4. Pick up and educate yourself on good manners and the right etiquette. Acceptable behaviors are essential soft skills that you need to acquired in the social and business setting.
5. The right body language is another soft skill that you must educate yourself. The right positive body language can effectively make you appear more approachable, confident and professional.
6. Lastly, and needless to say, do not forget to smile. A sincere and genuine smile can help to break the ice and barrier when meeting and greeting someone for the first time.
It may require you to make a small investment of your money and time in developing your personal image through proper grooming and social etiquette especially if you require the services and advice of an image consultant. Your investment will also include changing your wardrobe and hairstyle, but remember that the end result may be well worth the effort. The projection of well groomed and well mannered personality will not only help you in the advancement of your business career but also help in improving your self confidence and self esteem that is so important in your daily social and working life.
Etiquette at Home
Courtesy begins at home
Each family develops its own rules for behavior on smaller matters, and usually children of the family are trained in these things from infancy. There are basic rules for behavior that can apply to every family, and if a young child learns these rules and customs well and applies them at home, the good habits of behavior can continue rather easily when he goes to school and begins visiting in other homes.
Many old and time-honored customs are good to learn and to use because they have been proved and accepted over the generations. Then too, new habits for courtesy and safety must be learned because today people move around more, travel more, and do a greater variety of things each day then was common in the past. This means that young people have to learn to deal with new situations.
In making family life more pleasant and orderly, parents will expect their children to obey certain courtesies in the home. The same basic rules apply when you go to a restaurant, or travel, or visit at friends’ homes.
Most courtesies of daily living are really very simple to learn and to apply. Obedience comes first, when young children are learning good behavior and safety. Kindness and consideration are learned as children get a little older and realize that other people have wants and needs too.
Obey your father and mother
This is paramount. Your life may depend upon it. A small child must learn to obey a sudden order. A parent might call to him “stop,” to keep him from running into the street when a car is coming, or to keep him from reaching toward a fire or hot stove, or from approaching a strange dog, or,indeed, from any danger that the child does not recognize. Gradually, as the child grows older and feels ready to make his own decisions, his parents’ advice and guidance take place of such direct orders.
Be considerate to your brothers and sisters.
This is really part of the ancient Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.”
When people live together, and each person has his own wishes, courteous habits help to prevent quarreling and unhappiness. If real differences of opinion occur, families should try to solve their problems by talking them over. Often a solution can be reached in calmness. Quarreling can become a habit. If members of a family try to be courteous, even if they are very angry, they find that through mutual kindness their problems are more easily solved.
Kindness is a wonderful quality in human beings. All the major religions of the world teach about kindness and consideration in the family. The feeling we call “Love” is usually expressed by simply trying to be kind.
Be considerate of others
Most young people, as well as most adults, do not spend much time these days in “formal” situations. It used to be that a “well-brought-up” girl or boy would be taken by his or her mother to call on the mothers friends. Little girls learned to curtsy, and little boys to bow. If they went out to “tea,” it was expected that the children do these things, and to speak and answer only when spoken to. Customs like these have almost disappeared. Such behavior is now considered to be “old fashioned” or “Victorian”
Politeness and friendliness were the reasons why ladies in the old days “called” upon one another and sometimes brought their children along. We might feel sorry for the “good” little boy or girl who had to go,all scrubbed and starched, to call on a lady of his mother’s acquaintance. Probably the child had strict orders to sit quietly and not tease the cat, to accept only one piece of cake and not ask for more! At least, though, the children knew what to do and not what to do, for a formal situation is almost a ritual.
Nowadays, many mothers work and do not have the time or desire to make formal calls or to have visitors in the afternoon in a formal manner. Many other mothers are busy keeping house, doing the marketing, serving on committees, or driving the car to call for children at school and taking to their lessons and ball games.
Mothers today also enjoy calling on their friends when they have the time, and if you go with your mother, though you will not be expected to curtsy or bow, it is still good behavior to answer politely and in a friendly way when you are asked about school, your lessons, or your team or club. Even an informal situation calls for good manners.
In someone else’s home it is best to wait until your hostess suggests that you go outside to play or explore her house. If she warns you about her dog or her newly planted flower bed, it is for your own sake that she is speaking, and she wants to save you from embarrassment and keep you out of trouble. If adults speak sharply to you, it is because they think it is the best way to teach you. Many adults are not patient with young people. Perhaps it will help you if you understand that adults have many things to worry and tire them, and they wish, even though they are fond of you, to keep you from adding to their problems. Instead of arguing with adults, be patient with them. You will learn to understand their behavior better. You will also come to realize that someday you to will have adult problems to solve, and that patience is a great help. You, and the adults around you, are all trying to do the best you can to be considerate and patient.
Quarreling is unnecessary. Nothing is so “grace less” as a fight. What can be done when each person in the family wants his own way, wants it badly, and each person really has an equal right to his own way? Here love, patience, kindness and humor are important. In such a spirit, most problems big and little, can be solved or at least settled in a reasonable discussion.
When people live together, differences and quarrels often arise. Children as well as adults can display anger. Children often want to hit and slap; very little children are even tempted to bite! Feelings of this kind must be controlled. Violent behavior only makes the problems greater and more difficult to solve.
Hang up your clothing. Make your bed and keep your room as neat as you can. It is such a help to everyone if you pick up toys, books, and games that are not in use. If you need a place to keep your belongings, the grocer will give you a box or carton that you might decorate with paper or paint to make it look attractive to your room.
Be pleasant to guest in the house —
Your home as well as the home of others!
Wipe your shoes before entering the house!
Pets are your responsibility.
Your pet should have attention, food and water regularly. You should help your pet “keep out of trouble” too, by keeping it where it belongs, and, if possible, training it to mind its manners. Of course pet frogs and turtles, fish or insects cannot be trained, but you and your family will enjoy them more if they are kept safely in a special place.
Do not borrow if you can help it.
This is an important rule to remember all your life, for the exchange of possessions leads to misunderstandings. If it is necessary to borrow something, return it as soon as you can. If you borrow money, return the full amount with a cheerful “thank-you.” In fact if you do borrow money, have a plan for paying it back before you accept it. If you borrow clothing, equipment of any kind, or a toy, take good care of it and return clean and undamaged. Thank the lender of course. And take care not to let borrowing become a habit.
In the adult business world, a person borrowing money from a bank or lending firm must sign legal papers promising to return it according to a regular payment plan, and the sum borrowed must be repaid with “interest,” that is, about six to three hundred cents over every dollar borrowed as sort of a fee for the use of the money. Banks and lending firms are very careful that money is lent for a good reason, and that they will not readily lend it to persons who cannot show that they can repay their debts.
Young people can prepare themselves for the business part of life by developing careful habits of planning and of taking care of their possessions.
Respect others’ privacy.
Never interfere with another person’s mail, telephone calls, or personal possessions without his permission. If you take a telephone message for someone, be sure to pass the message on to him promptly and correctly. This is necessary because you might create many worries and problems for people if they do not receive a clear and correct message. In a few years, when you are working, accurate information from telephone calls can be important to the success of your business and your own advancement.
Proper use of the telephone is often vital
The telephone should be used as a way for people to communicate without interference. It is needed in emergencies, in calling the police or the fire department, or for someone who is injured. Friendly calls, too mean a great deal.
Telephone are not for pranks.
Young people are often tempted to play games with the telephone. One should not call strangers and then give silly or frightening messages. The results may be cruel or tragic.
When there are several members of a household,
it is courteous for everyone to make sure is not monopolized so as to prevent other incoming calls.
Place calls carefully.
Speak clearly. Make your calls as short as possible; others may want to use the telephone too. Never shout into the telephone. If you receive a call that has been made to the wrong number, make your number clear to the caller so the mistake will not be repeated. If you are taking a message, thank the caller and let him know that you will deliver the message carefully.
Answering the door.
Do Not Open the door until you know who is calling! Here we find a problem, because we want to be kind and hospitable to guest. Yet in order to help protect our home (and ourselves) it is wise to identify the caller before inviting him in. If the visitor is a guest of your family, invite him inside and invite him to sit down. Then ask to be excused and go and tell the host that company has arrived. It is not proper to shout for the host. If others are present in the room when the guest enters, be sure to introduce him to each person.
If the caller at the door is a salesman,
it is better to ask your parents or older brother or sister to speak to him. If you are at home alone when the salesman comes to the door, or if a older person cannot join you, you can politely suggest that the salesman return at a more convenient time. This will save him from embarrassment too. It is best, when you are alone and uncertain, to avoid making any purchases or promises to someone at the door.
For safety’s sake never invite a stranger into your home when you are alone.
Etiquette In Society-Places
In stores, hospitals, and places of business.
A good rule is to know where you are, and act accordingly. Such places may have a system of controlling noise; rowdy behavior is usually not tolerated. Make it a point to understand what the places are meant for and you will rarely make a mistake. The following tips will serve as a basis for deportment in public buildings.
Be courteous to salespeople
or to whomever offers help to people in a place of business. Employees want to help you, so do what you can by letting them assist you. If you do not need help (surprisingly enough, you usually do), politely tell the salesperson you are “just looking” or waiting or whatever may account for your presence.
When you are being helped,
be sure to make your wishes clear so there will be no mistake about what you want. Thus there will be no confusion as to choices or selection. The ability to make things clear is a quality you should develop, because all your life you will be called on to make decisions. If you cannot express your wishes, not much can be done to carry them out. You owe the staff the ordinary consideration of making your needs understood.
Make up your mind before buying anything.
By doing so, you will save time and exasperation for both yourself and the sales people. If you make a poor choice and then regret it, so that you are obliged to return the merchandise, that choice has proved a waste of time. Just consider the factors involved in making a purchase: cost, appearance, appropriateness, and then decide whether you really want it. A hurried purchase is usually not as satisfactory as one that requires a little thinking, but avoid wasting time over it. Choose carefully, weigh the pros and cons, but one should not dawdle or loiter; other shoppers want their turn.
Consideration of others in the theater, church, or in group and assembly is urgent
By disturbing others you rob them of enjoyment or interest in the program. Besides, by disturbing others you do yourself harm because you also miss the purpose of the entertainment. Above all, keep control of yourself at all times. Never do or start anything unless you are sure it is correct. If you remember where you are and act accordingly, you will seldom have an etiquette problem.
At a social affair,
be sure to come on time. Punctuality is a good habit and is greatly appreciated. If you are worried that the time is inconvenient, be there early and wait quietly, rather than show up late. By arriving early or on time you are more likely to enjoy the social occasion. Once you enter the assembly hall or theater, take your seat quickly to avoid the confusion often caused by people scrambling for seats at the last minute. In taking a seat promptly you also assure you have a place to sit. While seating and waiting for a program to began, refrain from staring at others. It is a temptation for many people to sit and amuse themselves by turning and gaping at their neighbors. Staring is always a rude pastime. If you are in need of something to do while waiting, study the printed program so you will know the order of things when they begin. Thus you will avoid further confusion because you will not need to refer back to the program so often. Often pre-program conversations become noisy, due to excitement and anticipation. Do your best to keep noise to a minimum while awaiting a performance.
If you must be late,
and the performance has already begun,you should enter quietly. You can readily understand why: a quiet entrance calls less attention to yourself and will not disturb the audience so much as a loud entrance that causes whispers, giggles, or even laughter. A late arrival makes it difficult to find a seat, unless it is reserved. Quietly ask the usher for help; he is there for that purpose. Passing over others to reach a seat is not really awkward unless you should unthinkingly stumble over someone’s feet. Do it quietly by not giggling, speaking only to murmur “Excuse me” or “Thank-you” once you are safely seated. Observe the same procedure if you find you must leave your seat during the performance. Solve any problems in an orderly manner. This rule is a basic one on which courtesy is built. It may be that someone is occupying your seat. Inform him politely; if this does no good, find an usher to help. Hold on to your ticket stub until you find your seat. It is wise to keep it until the show ends. If the problem provides no other solution then to move to another seat, then do so. Nothing is so important you must disturb others. Of course, if you ever find yourself in such a situation, the polite thing to do is move. Confusion rarely helps, and avoiding it puts you on a higher plane of courtesy then the troublemaker. At the inter mission you can straighten out the difficulty, or drop the matter.
Talking, whispering, or singing during a performance is to be deplored.
It is a temptation to read the credits aloud, especially to those younger then you. Ask your companions to hold all comments and questions until the end of the program or at least until the inter-mission. The same rule goes for you — communicate with others only in an emergency. Often any questions you may have are answered during the program.
If you must leave your seat during the performance,
take your belongings with you, unless you can entrust them to someone. The theater (or wherever you are) is not responsible for lost articles, so take good care of them. If you remember that carelessness may lead to loss, you will not have to complain of theft. Also, when someone entrust his things to you, be just as careful with them as if they were your own.
It is (except in special circumstances) consider correct to eat or drink in places of assembly.
The exceptions are when you know it is wrong to do so, or where the rules prohibit eating. When you are doubtful about such matters, inquire. It is better to ask a question and get an answer then to be embarrassed by doing something definitely out of keeping.
While chewing gum, and eating or drinking refreshments,
be sure not to make noises that may bother the rest of the audience.
Before littering the floor of the theater,
check to see if others are doing it, and since that is often not correct, see if there is a receptacle for refuse. Places of assembly usually have some sort of maintenance;however it is never proper to create unnecessary work.
Behave according to the occasion.
This rule may be explained by saying that you should never do anything that is not suggested by the mood of the performance; sometimes you can follow what the majority of the audience is doing, but not always. If you are ever in doubt about what to do, sit quietly and control your actions until you are sure that laughing, applauding, or whatever, is correct.
In a confined theater,
church, or other place of assembly, it is mandatory to keep calm, especially in an emergency that may call for a fast exit. During any type of exit, you should move quietly and steadily toward the nearest door.
Proper manners in a restaurant can often make the difference between the good time or bad.
Different restaurants call for different kinds of courtesy. You would certainly hold a hamburger in your fingers at a hot-dog stand, but at a regular restaurant one is expected to use the silverware. Table manners should be observed at all times in a restaurant, as in any place you are eating. Remember that other people are expecting to enjoy a pleasant meal and you should not distract or annoy those around you.
Remain as quiet as possible on entering a restaurant,
while you are eating, and when you leave. Bustle and clamor and loud talk disrupts a peaceful atmosphere. Creating a disturbance is a method of attention-getting which, along with other methods, such as wearing out-of-place clothing, will win scant applause.
When ordering, make your wishes clear,
as a courtesy to the waiter. He wants to serve you and he would prefer not to bring you something you did not ask for. When you make a wise, sure decision there is little or no danger of your wanting to change your mind. It is usually all right to request an added item during the meal.
If you should happen to drop a napkin or piece of silverware,
do not hesitate to ask for another, rather then grope around on the floor in an effort to retrieve it. One reminder: the table manners you have been taught at home may be a little different from those you observe at the restaurant. If so, you can readily adapt yourself by observing the actions of others or by asking questions.
The meal over, you are ready to leave.
The exit should be orderly. If you are with someone who accepts the responsibility of the check, you may either sit quietly until he has paid and returns to leave a tip, or follow him while the check is being paid, then go quietly out the door. While waiting, you should not stare or bother the other patrons. If you have been given the responsibility of the check, you should assist the rest of your party in a graceful exit, following the suggestions just given. And remembering to leave a tip. Tips are 15 per cent of the price of the meal. Gather up any article of clothing, purse, or umbrella that you may have put down; public places are not responsible for articles unless they have been checked.
Etiquette In Society
What is “society?” Society is people; anywhere, any time, you are around people you rely upon your social grace to help you to succeed. As you grow older you will find yourself more and more involved with society because you are becoming a mature member of that society. In a group, you should remember to control your manners in a more general way, so as to include many people. Develop your ability to follow through with what your courteous instinct tells you what is right. Here are some tips to keep in mind when you are out in public (on the streets, in civic buildings, at games, and so forth).
The main thing to remember is respect for others,
Your behavior should never offend anyone. If something wrong should happen be ready to show your courtesy by being helpful.
Always look your best, according to the time place and occasion.
People judge you by your appearance. Cleanliness, tidiness, and good posture are all pleasing sides of a healthy person. Appearance is also improved by holding the head up and looking people straight in the eye. Never neglect what is perhaps most pleasing: smile.
It is not good manners to eat (chew gum, drink soda pop,or actually consume food) in places not meant for such activities.
Grooming yourself in public is also not sanctioned—that is, combing your hair, adjusting clothing, or in other ways attending your appearance. Follow the dictates of pride: such personal grooming should be private.Surely you have found it distasteful if you have ever seen someone primping and preening in your presence or before others.
Cover your mouth when you sneeze, yawn, or cough.
This rule should be followed everywhere, not just in public — for two reasons, common courtesy being the basis of both. The first reason is your appearance; just seeing someone else do it would tell you how unpleasant it is. The second, and most important reason is health. Sneezing, coughing, and yawning spread germs and you can help prevent this by covering your mouth.
Never lounge on the street staring at or talking out loud to passers-by.
It is rude to address strangers and worse then rude to make impertinent remarks in public. Some young people find it entertaining or amuseing to involve others with their stares and remarks; such people are not good citizens. There are many activities planned by communities and individual groups to do away with much of this street lounging, and you should take advantage of the opportunities.
While walking, watch out for the safety of others.
It is so easy to let your attention wander and then collide with another pedestrian. This need not happen if you take care of where you are headed. Later, when you began to drive a car, you will learn that you should be alert not only for yourself and others near you, but to all who may chance to be in your path.
One should never mark buildings, monuments, signs, streets, or sidewalks.
The old saying, “Fools names and fools’ faces are often seen in public places,” is well to repeat. It expresses the general public’s disapproval of the vandal who feels he must mark or ruin the appearance of what belongs to everyone. In a more positive sense, it is good to say, “Obey signs rather then ruin them.” Signs are an example of public property put up for the use of all. When the vandal has his way, he is wrecking what belongs as much to him as to you. Fortunately, there are good citizens who try to prevent such things from happening.
A rule that has been mentioned before but needs a reminder is the litterbug rule:
Pick up rather then throw down. Particularly in public places, it is poor citizenship to contribute to a messy appearance by careless littering. The law prohibits it in many cities.
When you are in a public place, you should remember at all times that other people are around. Older persons, especially, cannot watch out for you, and courtesy demands that you should take care not to get in the way. Sometimes it is intelligent to watch and be aware of the crowds. Crowds often generate excitement, even become dangerous, and should be avoided. In any case, if an assemblage does flare up into heated behavior, keep a safe distance because of possible injury.