1. Know Thyself. Whether through the free personality profile, or the practice of filling out a self-summary on any online date site, sitting down and figuring out who you are and where you fit within the broader scheme of things is a good idea. If you can’t figure out and put into complete sentences who you are and where your interests lie, then perhaps it’s a red flag that you should take some time out to develop yourself.
2. Figure out what you’re looking for. Do you know what you want in a relationship? Or exactly what types of men/women interest you? More often than not in the off-line world of bars and cubicles, we limit ourselves to what’s immediately available. From the last man/woman standing at Finns Irish Pub happy hour to that cute guy working in marketing on the 7th floor, we take what’s put in front of us instead of going after what we know we want and need. Set some standards then apply them. By qualifying your dating preferences, you both open up and constrain your possibilities at the same time. Even the simple indication that you are looking for single, straight men/women, ages35-50, within 100 miles of your area code and a non-smoker is enough to keep you from chasing pipe dreams. Add that he must love 2 ½ men and who knows what new love opportunities may come your way.
3. It’s a great networking and skill-building opportunity. Being able to sit down with a complete stranger and have a conversation is a great skill to have, and one that will serve you well both professionally and personally. So the date is a flop … so he/she‘s shorter than expected, is loud, wears strong cologne and looks like a troll … the upside of sitting through a dinner with this person is that he/she has opened you up to a whole new world! He/she’s a coordinator of a huge event, he/she’s introduced you to whole new world of friends. His/her work is introducing you to that event. Score! Maybe not a love match, but now you have tickets to the hottest show in town!
4. Practice makes perfect. As they say, practice makes perfect and nowhere is this mantra truer than with dating. There’s an art to flirting, an art to chatting someone up. An art to going in for the kiss and to denying access to your chambers. Or, alternatively, giving them the green light. It makes it that much easier on a real date if you’ve had a series of “fake” dates to bone up on your skills.
5. You don’t have to be too serious… About this date or any others, whether they began online or off. Really, if you haven’t dated for a while, when that chance finally comes up sometimes it’s hard keeping it from becoming more than it really is. Having recently been on a series of dates, and with numerous ones scheduled on the horizon, helps take the pressure off and stress out of a “real” date. Likewise, it gives you alternative ways to spend your post-date time rather than counting down the days, hours or minutes to when he calls you back.
6. Bringing dating back. Once upon a time people used to date. Your parents might have told you about it, it was nice: A fella’ picked you up, you went out for a shake and some putt-putt, you talked, maybe necked. You went out on more dates. You got to know each other. Maybe it went somewhere, maybe it didn’t. The plus side is that you got to know someone and they got to know you. And in times like this, it really is nice to make that human connection. What’s more, casual dating allows you to entertain multiple men at the same time without the stigma of being called a slut. Limiting your romantic pursuits to weekend hookups is a dead end. Give yourself choices in who you date, what you do, and where you meet them.
7. It can often mean a great meal. Despite recessionary economics, a guy will still likely pay for a drink or two—just make sure you don’t treat them like a meal ticket. One lady has this to say about it:
I’ll go out with most people online, provided they seem normal and I think I could manage a decent conversation with them. And why not? It beats sitting at home watching television.
As a girl online, you’ll find yourself barraged by men. Why not take a few up? So they might not be your Adonis, but why not meet up for some drinks, appetizers and conversation?
8. You just might meet someone. With the laws of statistics on your side, why go against the flow? You create your own luck, and waiting around for Mr. or Mrs. Right to find you is so over.
- Recent Survey Finds that 81.2% of Men are Unable to Approach Women via Traditional Methods (prweb.com)