The 4 Principles of Dating

In any relationship there is a balance of power. Sometimes, one partner has more emotional control than the other. However, if you work with your partner, a healthy balance can be found. People in a healthy relationship continually reassess their goals and requirements. Of course, your priorities will always change, as the dynamics of your individual lives change. Apart from managing your time together, you must also balance your emotions, individual needs, finances, work schedules, and time spent with your friends, family and children. There are four important principles to remember if you want to achieve a more successful, balanced relationship.

1. Be Aware of Your Behavior

Are you giving enough space to your partner? Can you do more to help them emotionally? Are you spending enough quality time with them? These are just some examples of questions you must constantly ask yourself if you want your relationship to work. If your partner says that they need more space, it could be because you are asking to spend too much time with them. Perhaps they fear losing their independence. Being aware of your behavior will ultimately strengthen your relationship, as long as you follow the other three principles.

2. Accept Your Differences

For example, you might be more of an extrovert than your partner. Recognize this and accept the fact that you like to socialize more than your partner. If they are more of an introvert, they will probably need less excitement and want to spend more time alone. It is important to be aware of your partner’s individual needs and desires. Simply accepting your differences is the next step toward a better relationship.

3. Communicate More Effectively

You will connect more with your partner if you have realistic expectations of them and see them more clearly. To achieve this, you must talk more openly; do not contain your emotions. Talking can often highlight an area of weakness in yourself that your partner will recognize. It might be difficult if you are a less emotional person, but try to tell your partner what you need and want out of the relationship. They cannot read your mind.

Your words can also be misinterpreted. For example, you might criticize your partner for being late home from work. They might misinterpret this as being ungrateful. What you really should say is: “I really want to spend more time with you. I know your work is important, but so is our time together. Can you tell me if you’re going to be late, because I love to eat dinner together and talk about the day?” Try to be straightforward and kind and your relationship will thrive.

4. Change Your Behavior

Once you realize what your partner wants out of the relationship, you must adjust your behavior accordingly. If you are an emotional person who needs constant reassurance, giving your partner more space can be enough to help them feel more free to express themselves at the appropriate time. Relinquish some of your control. Your partner could be craving some of that power. If your partner has told you they need more help around the house, make sure you share this responsibility. If they want to spend more time with you, cultivate your common interests. Conversely, if your partner needs to spend more time with their friends, do not stop them. You will probably find they will give you more worthwhile attention when they are with you.

A successful relationship is a healthy balance between looking after your own needs and caring for your partner’s requirements. Continual compromise is essential. Be aware of how you act. Talk with your partner openly and frequently. Accept your differences, and change your behavior when necessary. Follow these principles and your relationship will have a much better chance of succeeding.


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