Keeping ex-sex partners as friends?
I was invited to a party by a man who I have been seeing a few times. I was quite happy about this and was looking forward to meeting his friends. All night I showed my best side socially to all the women and men and carried great conversations with most. I was beginning to feel funny from vibes around me. I felt I was being laughed at but couldn’t put my finger on it. I went to the bathroom to check on myself head to toe to see if I was ok. Then I heard the conversation from the next bedroom. It was the hostess and she was laughing and saying how it wouldn’t last more than 6 weeks with myself and this man because he will still always have the hots for her. Then she bragged openly on how she has kept all of her previous lovers as friends. Even the ones who are newly married. She bragged that their new women or wives couldn’t understand that she has a special relationship with all of her ex’s because they can talk to her about any intimate stuff and she will always be understanding. Some of these women hate her and she laughed about it.
The man I was seeing didn’t tell me that she was a former lover. Afterwards I told him about what happened and he only laughed and said that she insists on being friends and he kind of liked that. Especially when he was the one to dump her. I don’t know what to do.
> I do not feel comfortable about this at all.
Apolinary Joined: 9/5/2007
You’re discomfort is quite understandable — your boyfriend has an ex-lover who doesn’t seem to have a sense of healthy boundaries; an ex-lover of his who seems to even brag that she still has some intimate connection (even if it’s not sexual) with all her old boyfriends.
And her attitude lacks a healthy sense of boundaries because just her bragging and her provocativeness threaten to undermine your relationship with your boyfriend.
So your discomfort is quite understandable. If I were in your situation, I’d feel discomfort with all of this as well.