Category Archives: ETIQUETTE

8 Keys to Instant Charm-How to be a Charming Woman

Charm. Oh so easy to want, but oh! Not-so-easy to acquire! To be charming requires a change in mindset. It’s not like I can actually give you action steps to follow and it will then all fall in to place. No, no no!

 

To become charming, you can follow actions steps, but what is important is the psychology of a charming woman. Just take a moment and visualize a woman whom you think is charming. Can you think of one? It can be a famous lady or it could be someone you know – a good friend. Perhaps your best friend.

 

It could be a man. Some men are really good at being charming. Although, I tend to associate charisma more with men, and charm more with women. What do you think?

 

You probably admire how effortlessly charming this woman/man seems. Charm seems like a quality out-of-reach for many, much like charisma. It’s known as a quality a lucky few are “blessed” with. Almost like a God-given talent. But it’s not. You’re probably already charming and you don’t even know it! But it’s good to at least be aware of what works.

 

Charm is defined as: a power of pleasing or attracting, as through personality or beauty; any action supposed to have magical power; to delight or please greatly by beauty; attractiveness; enchant.

 

At a very basic level, all humans have it in them to please, be attractive to, and enchant other human beings. Any woman can have a magical effect on her friends, her husband or boyfriend, and relatives. Because at some level, we are all the same. We all have an unsaid and unseen understanding, in one way or another (even though we unfortunately tend to segregate people in society). We all have the same basic human needs, and we all experience pain and pleasure of some sort; even though we are all clearly so different.

 

And even though other people may seem like they don’t understand you, and sometimes we seem like we humans are worlds apart; we all have that magical power within us.

 

And why is charm important anyway? Well, you will see in the steps I give below, but charm is incredibly important in life because it allows you to connect with anyone and everyone a little deeper than just the ‘basic’, dreary pleasantries and superficial  conversation. It endears you to others, thereby creating a deeper connection and allowing you more influence.

Not only this, but it attracts people to you – men, women and children alike. Being charming allows you to bring people joy, ecstasy, laughter, fun and to touch their lives in a special, exciting way.

And for you? Well, being charming will help you become a very memorable woman; friend, colleague, lover, mother, daughter and member of society. All the shapes of woman you can think of.

 

So here are 8 keys that will show you how to become a charming woman:

1. See the humor in things. Not everything has to be taken seriously. If you are always stressed, your magical effect will definitely be suffering. If you laugh at yourself, others will think it’s ok to be themselves around you, and that they won’t be judged and made to feel less around you.

 

Just let go, be free and really laugh. If you have a funny or odd laugh, so be it. That makes you even funnier.

 

If someone says “you’re weird”, have a laugh about it! Chuckle and say “I know”. After all, everybody is weird. If you’re not weird or ‘different’ in some way, you’re boring.

 

Sometimes, the key to seeing the humor in things is to be in a humorous, light-hearted, happy mood to start with.

 

If you’re expecting visitors, or if your boyfriend or husband is due home, and you feel miserable (but must get your mood up for the sake of the people you care about), perhaps you could think of a funny video you can watch on YouTube that you know will always change your state and put you in to a good spirit.

 

Have some songs, or a few articles/videos tucked away in your bookmarks (sign up to delicious.com for a really easy, Free, and simple bookmarking service), or keep them in your memory. Here are a couple of videos that change my state, get me smiling and get me rolling on the floor laughing in no time:

 

2) Don’t try to please everyone, and don’t obsess over whether this or that person is upset with you/dislikes you. Easier said than done (at least for me anyway).  The more you worry about these things, the less you will endear yourself to others. Because you’re really just focusing on yourself (in a bad way).

 

This sucks energy from others, rather than allowing your magnetic and magical abilities to flow. A charming woman has the ability to move on when necessary. Again, easier said than done. But so worth the effort!

 

Instead, focus on using the power that you do have. You can influence others with good intentions, and you can care more. Ultimately, that’s one of the best options. The more you worry about their thoughts about you, the more you become a leech, and a burden on their life.

Life is really, really short. You don’t have the TIME to obsess over other people’s thoughts about you.

 

Everybody is already judging you anyway. People are always making judgments about you! So be it. Can you control this? Hell, no! Well, some may think that if they keep obsessing over it, they might eventually be doing the ‘right’ thing. You cannot do the ‘right thing’ by others all the time.

Sometimes, you may just happen to annoy people accidentally. It happens to everybody. No-one is immune to this!

 

For some, no matter WHAT you do, they’ll just choose to hate you anyway. And it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them.

 

In effect, if you don’t want to be judged, just do nothing! Strive for nothing! Be nothing, and think nothing. Just be completely useless! But guess what, people will judge you for that, too!! Surprise!

 

If you know other people’s judgments ultimately don’t make a difference to what you do, then you’re well on your way to becoming charming. Granted, people say hurtful things, and it’s ok to be upset – but it’s really all about not getting so caught up in your own need to be ‘accepted’. These kinds of people are not charming. They’re more likely to be a turn-off.

 

3) In interaction with others, be at the same energy level or higher. Bounce back on the level of others. Don’t be a drag, What do I mean? I mean, when you meet someone at a social event or wherever you meet people, and you’re having a conversation, be present and keep the energy up and going between the both of you.

 

Don’t get too caught up in your own judgments of others and their views that you can’t even carry on a conversation with them and continue being present.

 

Bouncing back on other people’s level also means to mirror them (copy their facial expressions and mannerisms), and influence them with your energy (this can also be feminine energy of course). If they’re excited, be excited for them. If they’re upset, judge the situation – maybe it’s better to show sympathy. Go with your instincts.

 

If they say something that seems weird to you, that’s not in your way of thinking – just accept it and keep the energy up. Ask them about it; try to understand.

 

To be charming, magical and endearing, you have to be able to make people feel like you are like them; that you’re a friend.

 

4) See the good in things. Think; where’s the GOOD in this? What can I do right NOW that will make me feel free and lighten up? What would I need to think, believe, feel or do right NOW, to begin seeing the good side of this situation?

 

Feeling depressed can be overwhelming, and sometimes you’d rather jump off a tall building than continue on, but there’s always something good in everything. There’s always something that you can learn.

By the way, a pessimist is not charming.

 

5) Be present. Whenever you meet, engage with, or see someone, maintain eye contact. Listen and be attentive. Avoid “fidgeting”.

And don’t stare in to space. Have you ever been saying something to someone, and they look like they are off in space, and you feel like a bit of a donkey for speaking whilst no-one is listening?

 

And then only to become MORE annoyed when you say “you’re not listening” and they say, “yes I was!” and when you ask them “OK, well, what did I just say?” and though they’re able to say back to you exactly what you just said, you KNOW they weren’t really listening; it was just that they managed to somehow yank your words out of their memory and regurgitate them to you?

 

By the way, people are able to do this due to a thing known as the phonological loop, a part of the brain that takes whatever is coming in to your ears, and it plays it over and over again for a few seconds in your head after you hear it. ta da! There you have it. An ability to regurgitate what you didn’t truly listen to.

 

But don’t do this! A lack of presence negates charm. Again; maintain eye contact, listen and be attentive.

 

6) Acknowledge and understand that there are 2 types of charm and charisma within you, and engage people. Choose wisely.

 

A great woman who is confident in herself can utilize both of these with ease, without dampening people’s spirits.

 

The first type of charm is the kind of charm that comes from focusing solely on others.

 

The second type of charm is the kind of charm that comes from focusing on yourself.

 

Think about it. Haven’t you met someone who was really in to themselves, that would rarely sit down and listen to YOU, but they seemed to be charming anyway? Something about them endeared you to them, and perhaps it was a friend of yours who wasn’t such a good friend – but you were repeatedly enticed in to the friendship again and again? (you don’t want to be this kind of friend, but the example is there to show you that you can still be charismatic through a focus on yourself).

 

The key is knowing how to do it without being a downer. A drag of a person.

 

Admittedly, great charm comes from a focus on others. But a truly charming woman has the ability to be both without trying to prove anything to anybody.

 

She is confident in who she is, and isn’t trying to convince you of anything, or sell herself to you.

 

Why can someone who’s focused on themselves be charming? Because they still manage to engage people. They actually have a way of making people laugh (whether it be at THEM or at something/someone else). They are generally able to make people feel GOOD.

 

People who are able to be charming through a focus on themselves often draw you in further to them through their self-focus, and ability to make fun of themselves or intrigue you.

 

They’re engaging. And engaging is central to being charming.

The word ‘magical’, being a part of the definition of ‘charming’ really is a quality that someone has that makes others happy.

 

Be aware of the two kinds of charm, and choose wisely. One type of charm/charisma may be more useful than another type at any given time. But, just in case you think you can’t possibly consciously always think about and focus on choosing which type to utilize, you’re right.

But by being aware, and starting to act on this awareness, you’ll often find that you begin to do things subconsciously and naturally.

 

But ultimately, if you truly care for others, you can use either charm and be in a win-win situation.

 

7) Let go and be a kid. Have FUN!! Even when it’s a little taboo to have fun. Children often have a lot of charm, (when they’re in a good mood). Small children don’t care what other people think.

 

They’re charming because they’re innocent, addicted to adventure and fun, wide-eyed, crazy, able to just be themselves, and they’re full of energy as well as being responsive. You say ‘poop’ and they laugh their butt off! You pinch their face, and they laugh! You clap your hands, they laugh! You make a silly face, and they laugh, and laugh and laugh!

 

At first you just think it’s cute, but by the end, you’re so infected with their energy that you’re laughing too! And you want to be around this baby, because he or she makes you feel GOOD!

 

Next time you see a puddle, jump in it, instead of bitching about it.

Jump on a trampoline, make FUN a central focus of your life. Relax and let go. If you love fun, you’re charming.

 

8 ) Love your femininity, and be comfortable in being a woman. Accentuate all the attributes that make you feminine and womanly. It’s ok to play with your hair, twist it around in your finger, pout, bite your lip, and it’s ok to delight in your new pretty skirt, and twirl it around. This doesn’t make you an air head or a dummy, it makes you charming, especially to a man.

 

If you make a mistake, just go straight back to being the woman that you are. Keep moving forward, and go right ahead and laugh at yourself.

 

Finally, some examples of women (and a few men) who I think are charming:

Goldie Hawn

Vanessa Paradis

Tyra Banks

Heidi Klum

Cameron Diaz

Julia Roberts
**************

Clint Eastwood

Robin Williams

Sean Connery

George Clooney

Johnny Depp

 

SUMMARY

1) See the humor in things. Be able to laugh at yourself.

2) Stop trying to please people. When are people judging you? All the time.

3) In interaction with others, be at the same energy level or higher.

4) See the good in things

5) Be present in interaction with others

6) Acknowledge the 2 types of charm, engage people, and choose wisely.

7) Let go and be a kid – let the child in you show

8 ) Love your femininity, be comfortable in being a woman; accentuate your womanliness

 

7 Steps to Poise

 “Poise is a power derived from the Mastery of Self

 

A woman who is poised is not easy to come by. Perhaps she was 30, 40, 50 + years ago. But such a woman is not too common these days. A feminine woman is often the epitome of grace, elegance and poise.

 

The definition of poise is: ‘A graceful and elegant bearing; composure of dignity and manner’.

 

The only negative thing about women who are traditionally poised, is that sometimes this poise tends to surface accompanied by a sense of rigidity. Femininity is not about being rigid, and no feminine woman should be tight and stringent in her manner and/or life. Some women who are traditionally ‘poised’ take themselves too seriously, and take the issue of poise too far.

Truly feminine women have a beautiful quality of spontaneity and freedom. Feminine energy flows with the energy of life. It is sometimes chaotic, sometimes calm, and at other times, even melancholy and dark.

 

“Composure”; being a part of the definition of poise, needs to be considered. Sometimes, people who are composed border on stoical; and this is not ideal. Yes, there is a time and place for composure – but it’s important not to take this overboard. Even if you are seeking to be poised, you can take the issue of composure lightly.

 

Feminine women are real – above all else. So whilst a woman needs to be composed at times, it’s important that she is able to go with the flow of life. Femininity also involves an element of irrationality – and some people (men and women included), make this wrong. It’s not wrong. Again, chaos is a typical trait of the feminine energy. This is where a woman’s ‘ocean of emotion’ comes in to it.

So, poise is important – but poise comes from a deeply assured sense of self, and authenticity. A woman who ‘needs’ to compose herself may have one too many unresolved contradictions and insecurities within her. There’s nothing wrong with this, but poise should not be taken to mean, or appear to be, a ‘forced’ sense of dignity, self-respect and elegance.

 

So here are some steps to achieving instant poise:

1) Poise is, more than anything else, a result of plenty of self-confidence. Acknowledge that your purpose is not to ‘appear’ self-assured and poised, but to be truly and actually poised, from deep within – where you harbor an unshakable sense of certainty and self-confidence.

I do believe in the saying “fake it until you make it”. Because when you put yourself in the ‘state’ of doing something you don’t feel you actually know how to do, but ‘pretend’ as if you do – momentum ensues, and often, the ability to do the thing you want to do follows.

 

So if you do lack self-confidence, and aren’t so assured – think: ‘What would I do in this situation if I DID know what to do?’

Self-confidence is your friend when it comes to achieving poise. They go hand-in-hand. If you are self-confident, it’s much easier to go with the flow, be strong (in a feminine way) and become able to deal with any situation that arises. Particularly unfavorable situations, such as being late for a meeting, a friend betraying you, and being strong for others and having to show support and be relied upon when your own life seems like it’s falling apart.

Poise is about knowing your value despite the circumstances.

 

2) Face your fears and forgive yourself for past mistakes, no matter how big they are. Even a woman who has acted ‘cheap’ in the past can achieve poise.

 

A lot of women have done things in their past that they regret, that were less than graceful, respectable and poised – and as a result they “lock” themselves in to one particular identity – and therefore, so does everybody else! If you do it, so will everybody else. However, if you act like a graceful and elegant woman who is poised, and believe in it, other people will, too!

 

If anyone is going to give you respect (something that often ensues when you are a poised and graceful woman), you have to give it to yourself first, and you need to acknowledge your past mistakes, know that you are human and that most of us have a skeleton or two in our closet. I certainly have a couple.

But just because you did a certain thing in the past, or acted a certain way, or made a certain mistake – doesn’t preclude you from joining the ranks of poised and graceful ladies now, and in the future.

 

Forgive yourself – learn from your mistakes and ease in to grace, elegance and poise. No mistake or memory of a mistake in your life has truly earned its place until you learn from it and continue to love yourself despite.

 

3) Be honest but not blunt. Care for other people, and consider others when you are asked for feedback, your opinion, or put in a difficult or challenging situation. If you have an urge to act impulsively (which is not always a bad thing, but it is when you’re going to be nasty, critical or inconsiderate of another person’s emotions) – wait a moment.

It is better to pause and think your actions and responses through than to act impulsively. Again, I love women who act impulsively and who are unpredictable – but there is a time for this. If you’re in a serious situation, such as in a work or corporate environment, or are put in a difficult position or awkward moment by friends, family or strangers, it’s important to think things through before you act and cause any extra problems for yourself and others.

 

Expressing your opinion is important, but it is imperative to do it with class, integrity and modesty.

 

4) Avoid a scarcity mindset. Have you ever gone to a food hall, or a food court, and it’s packed – you are looking for a seat, and you finally see one, so you calmly walk over with your plate of food – only to have some rude, crass and disrespectful person sprint to the seat before you?

 

Not only is it frustrating, but it’s just plain terrible behavior. It’s worse when you look at them in disbelief, and they act like they didn’t see you!

 

You don’t have to have no money to be poor. Poor, un-elegant people exist as a result of a poor mindset. A scarcity mindset. A scarcity mindset is the nemesis of grace and poise. A scarcity mindset often leads to desperation. And desperation isn’t a trait of poise. I know we’ve all felt desperate for something in our lives, but desperation born out of a scarcity mindset will destroy all efforts to achieve poise.

 

A scarcity mindset will also dispel a woman’s serenity and calmness; and as a result – how classy or poised she will become.

 

I’ll give you another example. You’re hopping on to a train, and you can see there are only a couple of seats left. You walk on calmly, – and before you know it, some arrogant and selfish person pushes you out the way to get to the seat first. This is not graceful. It is not poised. People like this don’t earn respect, they remain forgotten and in other people’s distant memory; deep in the dust.

 

The point is – there WILL be a seat available! Poise is about being at peace, knowing that there is enough to go around! Somebody else’s gain is not your loss!

 

A woman of poise makes a profound impact and commands respect at the highest level.

 

Even though these may be small, insignificant matters – every little bit counts. You must be poised even when there’s no-one around whom you are seeking to impress or please. Poise is unqualified. A poised woman lives it. And doesn’t act poised only when it benefits her.

 

Like any women who achieves true success and commands respect, achieving poise is the same – you have to consider others beyond yourself.

 

5) Correct your posture, if your posture is suffering. Most people need to get better posture. And I don’t blame them – it’s so easy to get terrible posture with our lifestyle these days. The traditional book-on-the-head strategy doesn’t work.

 

There are much better ways to improve your posture. It’s not something that can be taught very well through words, so if you are interested in a video on improving your posture, please see our videos and post on 3 Steps to Instant Good Posture.

 

6) For this point, I’d like to quote the amazing Coach John Wooden:

“You can’t let praise or Criticism get to you. It is a weakness to get caught up in either one”.

 

Know your value. Be humble. Even if you are no.1 at something, we are always learning and should never assume that we are more ‘worthy’ than others. Part of knowing your value is knowing your abilities as well as your limitations. I do believe anyone can achieve anything they wish, but it’s important not to descend in to arrogance or egotism.

You may offer more value than others, and have better abilities, but any woman who tramples on others to feel better about herself, or to achieve an air or superiority, isn’t poised.

 

Arrogance destroys poise. It is not graceful, and neither is it elegant.

7) Model others. If there is a woman whom you consider to have great poise; look to her, figure out what it is that makes her so poised. Is it a special point of elegance that she has? Is it her ability to think before she acts?

Is it the way she holds herself? Poise consists of how one is presented to the world from the outside, as well as a person’s mindset.

 

Examples of women whom have great poise:

Natalie Portman –(Despite her rap video)

Nicole Kidman

Audrey Hepburn

Michelle Obama

Michelle Pfeiffer

Charlize Theron

Julia Roberts

Kate Beckinsale

 

SUMMARY:

1. Poise comes through true, authentic inner confidence.

2. Face your fears and forgive yourself for past mistakes. Don’t get ‘locked’ in to a particular identity, or past identities.

3. Be honest but not blunt. Give real, good feedback, express your opinions with class and integrity.

4. Avoid a scarcity mindset.

5. Develop good posture.

6. Know your value, and be confident in your value.

7. Model others.

 

Etiquette: Professional Business

In today’s world of globalization and highly competitive business world, success is not just about academic accomplishments, technical skills and experience. Your self confidence in expressing your attitude, competence, credibility, professionalism and status together with a good self esteem and self image of yourself is extremely vital in giving you that extra edge when it matters most. Therefore, developing your self confidence and self esteem by improving your personal image through good personal grooming & social etiquette can help you compete successful in this highly competitive environment.

You will be pleasantly surprised how much you will be able to improve your self confidence and self esteem simply by projecting a good personal image & social etiquette. Consequently, you will find yourself better able to successfully influence other people’s perceptions of you. It will certainly help your cause to project the right visual image and behavioral etiquette by adopting the following advice:-

1. Always look well groomed as this is the first thing that people will notice. For men, you should avoid the unshaven look and for the ladies, appropriate make-up to enhance your look will make a world of difference.

2. Do dress well to project your personality and professionalism. You should invest in better quality clothes that you can afford which look and feel better. Do bear in mind that price is not always an indication of quality. Instead check on the craftsmanship and the fabric used. Image consultant have also emphasize that the color of your clothing should match your make-up and accessories to enhance your appearance.e

3. The right hairstyle to suit your face and lifestyle is just as important to give you that polished and positive professional look. Do avoid the greasy and messy hairstyle.

4. Pick up and educate yourself on good manners and the right etiquette. Acceptable behaviors are essential soft skills that you need to acquired in the social and business setting.

5. The right body language is another soft skill that you must educate yourself. The right positive body language can effectively make you appear more approachable, confident and professional.

6. Lastly, and needless to say, do not forget to smile. A sincere and genuine smile can help to break the ice and barrier when meeting and greeting someone for the first time.

It may require you to make a small investment of your money and time in developing your personal image through proper grooming and social etiquette especially if you require the services and advice of an image consultant. Your investment will also include changing your wardrobe and hairstyle, but remember that the end result may be well worth the effort. The projection of well groomed and well mannered personality will not only help you in the advancement of your business career but also help in improving your self confidence and self esteem that is so important in your daily social and working life.

Etiquette at Home

Courtesy begins at home

Each family develops its own rules for behavior on smaller matters, and usually children of the family are trained in these things from infancy. There are basic rules for behavior that can apply to every family, and if a young child learns these rules and customs well and applies them at home, the good habits of behavior can continue rather easily when he goes to school and begins visiting in other homes.

Many old and time-honored customs are good to learn and to use because they have been proved and accepted over the generations. Then too, new habits for courtesy and safety must be learned because today people move around more, travel more, and do a greater variety of things each day then was common in the past. This means that young people have to learn to deal with new situations.

In making family life more pleasant and orderly, parents will expect their children to obey certain courtesies in the home. The same basic rules apply when you go to a restaurant, or travel, or visit at friends’ homes.

Most courtesies of daily living are really very simple to learn and to apply. Obedience comes first, when young children are learning good behavior and safety. Kindness and consideration are learned as children get a little older and realize that other people have wants and needs too.

Obey your father and mother

This is paramount. Your life may depend upon it. A small child must learn to obey a sudden order. A parent might call to him “stop,” to keep him from running into the street when a car is coming, or to keep him from reaching toward a fire or hot stove, or from approaching a strange dog, or,indeed, from any danger that the child does not recognize. Gradually, as the child grows older and feels ready to make his own decisions, his parents’ advice and guidance take place of such direct orders.

Be considerate to your brothers and sisters.

This is really part of the ancient Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.”

When people live together, and each person has his own wishes, courteous habits help to prevent quarreling and unhappiness. If real differences of opinion occur, families should try to solve their problems by talking them over. Often a solution can be reached in calmness. Quarreling can become a habit. If members of a family try to be courteous, even if they are very angry, they find that through mutual kindness their problems are more easily solved.

Kindness is a wonderful quality in human beings. All the major religions of the world teach about kindness and consideration in the family. The feeling we call “Love” is usually expressed by simply trying to be kind.

Be considerate of others

Most young people, as well as most adults, do not spend much time these days in “formal” situations. It used to be that a “well-brought-up” girl or boy would be taken by his or her mother to call on the mothers friends. Little girls learned to curtsy, and little boys to bow. If they went out to “tea,” it was expected that the children do these things, and to speak and answer only when spoken to. Customs like these have almost disappeared. Such behavior is now considered to be “old fashioned” or “Victorian”

Politeness and friendliness were the reasons why ladies in the old days “called” upon one another and sometimes brought their children along. We might feel sorry for the “good” little boy or girl who had to go,all scrubbed and starched, to call on a lady of his mother’s acquaintance. Probably the child had strict orders to sit quietly and not tease the cat, to accept only one piece of cake and not ask for more! At least, though, the children knew what to do and not what to do, for a formal situation is almost a ritual.

Nowadays, many mothers work and do not have the time or desire to make formal calls or to have visitors in the afternoon in a formal manner. Many other mothers are busy keeping house, doing the marketing, serving on committees, or driving the car to call for children at school and taking to their lessons and ball games.

Mothers today also enjoy calling on their friends when they have the time, and if you go with your mother, though you will not be expected to curtsy or bow, it is still good behavior to answer politely and in a friendly way when you are asked about school, your lessons, or your team or club. Even an informal situation calls for good manners.

In someone else’s home it is best to wait until your hostess suggests that you go outside to play or explore her house. If she warns you about her dog or her newly planted flower bed, it is for your own sake that she is speaking, and she wants to save you from embarrassment and keep you out of trouble. If adults speak sharply to you, it is because they think it is the best way to teach you. Many adults are not patient with young people. Perhaps it will help you if you understand that adults have many things to worry and tire them, and they wish, even though they are fond of you, to keep you from adding to their problems. Instead of arguing with adults, be patient with them. You will learn to understand their behavior better. You will also come to realize that someday you to will have adult problems to solve, and that patience is a great help. You, and the adults around you, are all trying to do the best you can to be considerate and patient.

Quarreling is unnecessary. Nothing is so “grace less” as a fight. What can be done when each person in the family wants his own way, wants it badly, and each person really has an equal right to his own way? Here love, patience, kindness and humor are important. In such a spirit, most problems big and little, can be solved or at least settled in a reasonable discussion.

When people live together, differences and quarrels often arise. Children as well as adults can display anger. Children often want to hit and slap; very little children are even tempted to bite! Feelings of this kind must be controlled. Violent behavior only makes the problems greater and more difficult to solve.

Be orderly

Hang up your clothing. Make your bed and keep your room as neat as you can. It is such a help to everyone if you pick up toys, books, and games that are not in use. If you need a place to keep your belongings, the grocer will give you a box or carton that you might decorate with paper or paint to make it look attractive to your room.

Be pleasant to guest in the house —

Your home as well as the home of others!

Wipe your shoes before entering the house!

Pets are your responsibility.

Your pet should have attention, food and water regularly. You should help your pet “keep out of trouble” too, by keeping it where it belongs, and, if possible, training it to mind its manners. Of course pet frogs and turtles, fish or insects cannot be trained, but you and your family will enjoy them more if they are kept safely in a special place.

Do not borrow if you can help it.

This is an important rule to remember all your life, for the exchange of possessions leads to misunderstandings. If it is necessary to borrow something, return it as soon as you can. If you borrow money, return the full amount with a cheerful “thank-you.” In fact if you do borrow money, have a plan for paying it back before you accept it. If you borrow clothing, equipment of any kind, or a toy, take good care of it and return clean and undamaged. Thank the lender of course. And take care not to let borrowing become a habit.

In the adult business world, a person borrowing money from a bank or lending firm must sign legal papers promising to return it according to a regular payment plan, and the sum borrowed must be repaid with “interest,” that is, about six to three hundred cents over every dollar borrowed as sort of a fee for the use of the money. Banks and lending firms are very careful that money is lent for a good reason, and that they will not readily lend it to persons who cannot show that they can repay their debts.

Young people can prepare themselves for the business part of life by developing careful habits of planning and of taking care of their possessions.

Respect others’ privacy.

Never interfere with another person’s mail, telephone calls, or personal possessions without his permission. If you take a telephone message for someone, be sure to pass the message on to him promptly and correctly. This is necessary because you might create many worries and problems for people if they do not receive a clear and correct message. In a few years, when you are working, accurate information from telephone calls can be important to the success of your business and your own advancement.

Proper use of the telephone is often vital

The telephone should be used as a way for people to communicate without interference. It is needed in emergencies, in calling the police or the fire department, or for someone who is injured. Friendly calls, too mean a great deal.

Telephone are not for pranks.

Young people are often tempted to play games with the telephone. One should not call strangers and then give silly or frightening messages. The results may be cruel or tragic.

When there are several members of a household,

it is courteous for everyone to make sure is not monopolized so as to prevent other incoming calls.

Place calls carefully.

Speak clearly. Make your calls as short as possible; others may want to use the telephone too. Never shout into the telephone. If you receive a call that has been made to the wrong number, make your number clear to the caller so the mistake will not be repeated. If you are taking a message, thank the caller and let him know that you will deliver the message carefully.

Answering the door.

Do Not Open the door until you know who is calling! Here we find a problem, because we want to be kind and hospitable to guest. Yet in order to help protect our home (and ourselves) it is wise to identify the caller before inviting him in. If the visitor is a guest of your family, invite him inside and invite him to sit down. Then ask to be excused and go and tell the host that company has arrived. It is not proper to shout for the host. If others are present in the room when the guest enters, be sure to introduce him to each person.

If the caller at the door is a salesman,

it is better to ask your parents or older brother or sister to speak to him. If you are at home alone when the salesman comes to the door, or if a older person cannot join you, you can politely suggest that the salesman return at a more convenient time. This will save him from embarrassment too. It is best, when you are alone and uncertain, to avoid making any purchases or promises to someone at the door.

For safety’s sake never invite a stranger into your home when you are alone.

Etiquette In Society-Places

In stores, hospitals, and places of business.

A good rule is to know where you are, and act accordingly. Such places may have a system of controlling noise; rowdy behavior is usually not tolerated. Make it a point to understand what the places are meant for and you will rarely make a mistake. The following tips will serve as a basis for deportment in public buildings.

Be courteous to salespeople

or to whomever offers help to people in a place of business. Employees want to help you, so do what you can by letting them assist you. If you do not need help (surprisingly enough, you usually do), politely tell the salesperson you are “just looking” or waiting or whatever may account for your presence.

When you are being helped,

be sure to make your wishes clear so there will be no mistake about what you want. Thus there will be no confusion as to choices or selection. The ability to make things clear is a quality you should develop, because all your life you will be called on to make decisions. If you cannot express your wishes, not much can be done to carry them out. You owe the staff the ordinary consideration of making your needs understood.

Make up your mind before buying anything.

By doing so, you will save time and exasperation for both yourself and the sales people. If you make a poor choice and then regret it, so that you are obliged to return the merchandise, that choice has proved a waste of time. Just consider the factors involved in making a purchase: cost, appearance, appropriateness, and then decide whether you really want it. A hurried purchase is usually not as satisfactory as one that requires a little thinking, but avoid wasting time over it. Choose carefully, weigh the pros and cons, but one should not dawdle or loiter; other shoppers want their turn.

Consideration of others in the theater, church, or in group and assembly is urgent

By disturbing others you rob them of enjoyment or interest in the program. Besides, by disturbing others you do yourself harm because you also miss the purpose of the entertainment. Above all, keep control of yourself at all times. Never do or start anything unless you are sure it is correct. If you remember where you are and act accordingly, you will seldom have an etiquette problem.

At a social affair,

be sure to come on time. Punctuality is a good habit and is greatly appreciated. If you are worried that the time is inconvenient, be there early and wait quietly, rather than show up late. By arriving early or on time you are more likely to enjoy the social occasion. Once you enter the assembly hall or theater, take your seat quickly to avoid the confusion often caused by people scrambling for seats at the last minute. In taking a seat promptly you also assure you have a place to sit. While seating and waiting for a program to began, refrain from staring at others. It is a temptation for many people to sit and amuse themselves by turning and gaping at their neighbors. Staring is always a rude pastime. If you are in need of something to do while waiting, study the printed program so you will know the order of things when they begin. Thus you will avoid further confusion because you will not need to refer back to the program so often. Often pre-program conversations become noisy, due to excitement and anticipation. Do your best to keep noise to a minimum while awaiting a performance.

If you must be late,

and the performance has already begun,you should enter quietly. You can readily understand why: a quiet entrance calls less attention to yourself and will not disturb the audience so much as a loud entrance that causes whispers, giggles, or even laughter. A late arrival makes it difficult to find a seat, unless it is reserved. Quietly ask the usher for help; he is there for that purpose. Passing over others to reach a seat is not really awkward unless you should unthinkingly stumble over someone’s feet. Do it quietly by not giggling, speaking only to murmur “Excuse me” or “Thank-you” once you are safely seated. Observe the same procedure if you find you must leave your seat during the performance. Solve any problems in an orderly manner. This rule is a basic one on which courtesy is built. It may be that someone is occupying your seat. Inform him politely; if this does no good, find an usher to help. Hold on to your ticket stub until you find your seat. It is wise to keep it until the show ends. If the problem provides no other solution then to move to another seat, then do so. Nothing is so important you must disturb others. Of course, if you ever find yourself in such a situation, the polite thing to do is move. Confusion rarely helps, and avoiding it puts you on a higher plane of courtesy then the troublemaker. At the inter mission you can straighten out the difficulty, or drop the matter.

Talking, whispering, or singing during a performance is to be deplored.

It is a temptation to read the credits aloud, especially to those younger then you. Ask your companions to hold all comments and questions until the end of the program or at least until the inter-mission. The same rule goes for you — communicate with others only in an emergency. Often any questions you may have are answered during the program.

If you must leave your seat during the performance,

take your belongings with you, unless you can entrust them to someone. The theater (or wherever you are) is not responsible for lost articles, so take good care of them. If you remember that carelessness may lead to loss, you will not have to complain of theft. Also, when someone entrust his things to you, be just as careful with them as if they were your own.

It is (except in special circumstances) consider correct to eat or drink in places of assembly.

The exceptions are when you know it is wrong to do so, or where the rules prohibit eating. When you are doubtful about such matters, inquire. It is better to ask a question and get an answer then to be embarrassed by doing something definitely out of keeping.

While chewing gum, and eating or drinking refreshments,

be sure not to make noises that may bother the rest of the audience.

Before littering the floor of the theater,

check to see if others are doing it, and since that is often not correct, see if there is a receptacle for refuse. Places of assembly usually have some sort of maintenance;however it is never proper to create unnecessary work.

Behave according to the occasion.

This rule may be explained by saying that you should never do anything that is not suggested by the mood of the performance; sometimes you can follow what the majority of the audience is doing, but not always. If you are ever in doubt about what to do, sit quietly and control your actions until you are sure that laughing, applauding, or whatever, is correct.

In a confined theater,

church, or other place of assembly, it is mandatory to keep calm, especially in an emergency that may call for a fast exit. During any type of exit, you should move quietly and steadily toward the nearest door.

Proper manners in a restaurant can often make the difference between the good time or bad.

Different restaurants call for different kinds of courtesy. You would certainly hold a hamburger in your fingers at a hot-dog stand, but at a regular restaurant one is expected to use the silverware. Table manners should be observed at all times in a restaurant, as in any place you are eating. Remember that other people are expecting to enjoy a pleasant meal and you should not distract or annoy those around you.

Remain as quiet as possible on entering a restaurant,

while you are eating, and when you leave. Bustle and clamor and loud talk disrupts a peaceful atmosphere. Creating a disturbance is a method of attention-getting which, along with other methods, such as wearing out-of-place clothing, will win scant applause.

When ordering, make your wishes clear,

as a courtesy to the waiter. He wants to serve you and he would prefer not to bring you something you did not ask for. When you make a wise, sure decision there is little or no danger of your wanting to change your mind. It is usually all right to request an added item during the meal.

If you should happen to drop a napkin or piece of silverware,

do not hesitate to ask for another, rather then grope around on the floor in an effort to retrieve it. One reminder: the table manners you have been taught at home may be a little different from those you observe at the restaurant. If so, you can readily adapt yourself by observing the actions of others or by asking questions.

The meal over, you are ready to leave.

The exit should be orderly. If you are with someone who accepts the responsibility of the check, you may either sit quietly until he has paid and returns to leave a tip, or follow him while the check is being paid, then go quietly out the door. While waiting, you should not stare or bother the other patrons. If you have been given the responsibility of the check, you should assist the rest of your party in a graceful exit, following the suggestions just given. And remembering to leave a tip. Tips are 15 per cent of the price of the meal. Gather up any article of clothing, purse, or umbrella that you may have put down; public places are not responsible for articles unless they have been checked.



Etiquette In Society

Society

What is “society?” Society is people; anywhere, any time, you are around people you rely upon your social grace to help you to succeed. As you grow older you will find yourself more and more involved with society because you are becoming a mature member of that society. In a group, you should remember to control your manners in a more general way, so as to include many people. Develop your ability to follow through with what your courteous instinct tells you what is right. Here are some tips to keep in mind when you are out in public (on the streets, in civic buildings, at games, and so forth).

The main thing to remember is respect for others,

Your behavior should never offend anyone. If something wrong should happen be ready to show your courtesy by being helpful.

Always look your best, according to the time place and occasion.

People judge you by your appearance. Cleanliness, tidiness, and good posture are all pleasing sides of a healthy person. Appearance is also improved by holding the head up and looking people straight in the eye. Never neglect what is perhaps most pleasing: smile.

It is not good manners to eat (chew gum, drink soda pop,or actually consume food) in places not meant for such activities.

Grooming yourself in public is also not sanctioned—that is, combing your hair, adjusting clothing, or in other ways attending your appearance. Follow the dictates of pride: such personal grooming should be private.Surely you have found it distasteful if you have ever seen someone primping and preening in your presence or before others.

Cover your mouth when you sneeze, yawn, or cough.

This rule should be followed everywhere, not just in public — for two reasons, common courtesy being the basis of both. The first reason is your appearance; just seeing someone else do it would tell you how unpleasant it is. The second, and most important reason is health. Sneezing, coughing, and yawning spread germs and you can help prevent this by covering your mouth.

Never lounge on the street staring at or talking out loud to passers-by.

It is rude to address strangers and worse then rude to make impertinent remarks in public. Some young people find it entertaining or amuseing to involve others with their stares and remarks; such people are not good citizens. There are many activities planned by communities and individual groups to do away with much of this street lounging, and you should take advantage of the opportunities.

While walking, watch out for the safety of others.

It is so easy to let your attention wander and then collide with another pedestrian. This need not happen if you take care of where you are headed. Later, when you began to drive a car, you will learn that you should be alert not only for yourself and others near you, but to all who may chance to be in your path.

One should never mark buildings, monuments, signs, streets, or sidewalks.

The old saying, “Fools names and fools’ faces are often seen in public places,” is well to repeat. It expresses the general public’s disapproval of the vandal who feels he must mark or ruin the appearance of what belongs to everyone. In a more positive sense, it is good to say, “Obey signs rather then ruin them.” Signs are an example of public property put up for the use of all. When the vandal has his way, he is wrecking what belongs as much to him as to you. Fortunately, there are good citizens who try to prevent such things from happening.

A rule that has been mentioned before but needs a reminder is the litterbug rule:

Pick up rather then throw down. Particularly in public places, it is poor citizenship to contribute to a messy appearance by careless littering. The law prohibits it in many cities.

When you are in a public place, you should remember at all times that other people are around. Older persons, especially, cannot watch out for you, and courtesy demands that you should take care not to get in the way. Sometimes it is intelligent to watch and be aware of the crowds. Crowds often generate excitement, even become dangerous, and should be avoided. In any case, if an assemblage does flare up into heated behavior, keep a safe distance because of possible injury.

Etiquette at Home

Courtesy begins at home

A family develops its own rules for behavior on smaller matters, and usually children of the family are trained in these things from infancy. There are basic rules for behavior that can apply to every family, and if a young child learns these rules and customs well, and apply them at home, the good habits of behavior can continue rather easily when he goes to school and begins visiting in other homes.

Many old and time-honored customs are good to learn and to use because they have been proved and accepted over the generations. Then too, new habits for courtesy and safety must be learned because today people move around more, travel more, and do a greater variety of things each day then was common in the past. This means that young people have to learn to deal with new situations.

In making family life more pleasant and orderly, parents will expect their children to obey certain courtesies in the home. The same basic rules apply when you go to a restaurant, or travel, or visit at friends’ homes.

Most courtesies of daily living are really very simple to learn and to apply. Obedience comes first, when young children are learning good behavior and safety. Kindness and consideration are learned as children get a little older and realize that other people have wants and needs too.

Obey/Respect your father and mother

This is paramount. Your life may depend upon it. A small child must learn to obey a sudden order. A parent might call to him “stop,” to keep him from running into the street when a car is coming, or to keep him from reaching toward a fire or hot stove, or from approaching a strange dog, or, indeed, from any danger that the child does not recognize. Gradually, as the child grows older and feels ready to make his own decisions, his parents’ advice and guidance take place of such direct orders.

Be considerate to your siblings and family.

This is really part of the ancient Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.”

When people live together, and each person has his own wishes, courteous habits help to prevent quarrelling and unhappiness. If real differences of opinion occur, families should try to solve their problems by talking them over. Often a solution can be reached in calmness. Quarrelling can become a habit. If members of a family try to be courteous, even if they are very angry, they find that through mutual kindness their problems are more easily solved.

Kindness is a wonderful quality in human beings. All the major religions of the world teach about kindness and consideration in the family. The feeling we call “Love” is usually expressed by simply trying to be kind.

Be considerate of others

Most young people, as well as most adults, do not spend much time these days in “formal” situations. It used to be that a “well-brought-up” girl or boy would be taken by his or her mother to call on the mothers friends. Little girls learned to curtsy, and little boys to bow. If they went out to “tea,” it was expected that the children do these things, and to speak and answer only when spoken to. Customs like these have almost disappeared. Such behavior is now considered to be “old fashioned” or “Victorian”

Politeness and friendliness were the reasons why ladies in the old days “called” upon one another and sometimes brought their children along. We might feel sorry for the “good” little boy or girl who had to go,all scrubbed and starched, to call on a lady of his mother’s acquaintance. Probably the child had strict orders to sit quietly and not tease the cat, to accept only one piece of cake and not ask for more! At least, though, the children knew what to do and not what to do, for a formal situation is almost a ritual.

Nowadays, many mothers work and do not have the time or desire to make formal calls or to have visitors in the afternoon in a formal manner. Many other mothers are busy keeping house, doing the marketing, serving on committees, or driving the car to call for children at school and taking to their lessons and ball games.

Mothers today also enjoy calling on their friends when they have the time, and if you go with your mother, though you will not be expected to curtsy or bow, it is still good behavior to answer politely and in a friendly way when you are asked about school, your lessons, or your team or club. Even an informal situation calls for good manners.

In someone else’s home it is best to wait until your hostess suggests that you go outside to play or explore her house. If she warns you about her dog or her newly planted flower bed, it is for your own sake that she is speaking, and she wants to save you from embarrassment and keep you out of trouble. If adults speak sharply to you, it is because they think it is the best way to teach you. Many adults are not patient with young people. Perhaps it will help you if you understand that adults have many things to worry and tire them, and they wish, even though they are fond of you, to keep you from adding to their problems. Instead of arguing with adults, be patient with them. You will learn to understand their behavior better. You will also come to realize that someday you to will have adult problems to solve, and that patience is a great help. You, and the adults around you, are all trying to do the best you can to be considerate and patient.

Quarrelling is unnecessary. Nothing is so “grace less” as a fight. What can be done when each person in the family wants his own way, wants it badly, and each person really has an equal right to his own way? Here love, patience, kindness and humor are important. In such a spirit, most problems big and little, can be solved or at least settled in a reasonable discussion.

When people live together, differences and quarrels often arise. Children as well as adults can display anger. Children often want to hit and slap; very little children are even tempted to bite! Feelings of this kind must be controlled. Violent behavior only makes the problems greater and more difficult to solve.

Be orderly

Hang up your clothing. Make your bed and keep your room as neat as you can. It is such a help to everyone if you pick up toys, books, and games that are not in use. If you need a place to keep your belongings, the grocer will give you a box or carton that you might decorate with paper or paint to make it look attractive to your room.

Be pleasant to guests in the house —

Your home as well as the home of others!

Wipe your shoes before entering the house!

Pets are your responsibility.

Your pet should have attention, food and water regularly. You should help your pet “keep out of trouble” too, by keeping it where it belongs, and, if possible, training it to mind its manners. Of course pet frogs and turtles, fish or insects cannot be trained, but you and your family will enjoy them more if they are kept safely in a special place.

Do not borrow if you can help it.

This is an important rule to remember all your life, for the exchange of possessions leads to misunderstandings. If it is necessary to borrow something, return it as soon as you can. If you borrow money, return the full amount with a cheerful “thank-you.” In fact if you do borrow money, have a plan for paying it back before you accept it. If you borrow clothing, equipment of any kind, or a toy, take good care of it and return clean and undamaged. Thank the lender of course. And take care not to let borrowing become a habit.

In the adult business world, a person borrowing money from a bank or lending firm must sign legal papers promising to return it according to a regular payment plan, and the sum borrowed must be repaid with “interest,” that is, about six to three hundred cents over every dollar borrowed as sort of a fee for the use of the money. Banks and lending firms are very careful that money is lent for a good reason, and that they will not readily lend it to persons who cannot show that they can repay their debts.

Young people can prepare themselves for the business part of life by developing careful habits of planning and of taking care of their possessions.

Respect others’ privacy.

Never interfere with another person’s mail, telephone calls, or personal possessions without his permission. If you take a telephone message for someone, be sure to pass the message on to him promptly and correctly. This is necessary because you might create many worries and problems for people if they do not receive a clear and correct message. In a few years, when you are working, accurate information from telephone calls can be important to the success of your business and your own advancement.

Proper use of the telephone is often vital

The telephone should be used as a way for people to communicate without interference. It is needed in emergencies, in calling the police or the fire department, or for someone who is injured. Friendly calls, too mean a great deal.

Telephones are not for pranks.

Young people are often tempted to play games with the telephone. One should not call strangers and then give silly or frightening messages. The results may be cruel or tragic.

When there are several members of a household,

it is courteous for everyone to make sure is not monopolized so as to prevent other incoming calls.

Place calls carefully.

Speak clearly. Make your calls as short as possible; others may want to use the telephone too. Never shout into the telephone. If you receive a call that has been made to the wrong number, make your number clear to the caller so the mistake will not be repeated. If you are taking a message, thank the caller and let him know that you will deliver the message carefully.

Answering the door.

Do Not Open the door until you know who is calling! Here we find a problem, because we want to be kind and hospitable to guest. Yet in order to help protect our home (and ourselves) it is wise to identify the caller before inviting him in. If the visitor is a guest of your family, invite him inside and invite him to sit down. Then ask to be excused and go and tell the host that company has arrived. It is not proper to shout for the host. If others are present in the room when the guest enters, be sure to introduce him to each person.

If the caller at the door is a salesman, it is better to ask your parents or older brother or sister to speak to him. If you are at home alone when the salesman comes to the door, or if a older person cannot join you, you can politely suggest that the salesman return at a more convenient time. This will save him from embarrassment too. It is best, when you are alone and uncertain, to avoid making any purchases or promises to someone at the door.

For safety’s sake never invite a stranger into your home when you are alone.

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Grooming and Style for men

Clothes make the man. This mantra has been drilled into your head time and time again, but many of you out there are still not listening. When it comes to fashion know-how, most men are:

1) too cheap

2) too clueless

3) simply don’t care

(these are the men whose mommies laid their clothes out for them).

You can no longer continue walking around looking like a mess, so for some help we have some tips on how to get your wardrobe in shape so you can start stepping out with style.

 Here is a compelling case on the importance of a well-dressed man:

“I think that women recognize a man who dresses well – they can pick that guy out of the crowd. He’s not necessarily dressed expensively or crazily, he’s a guy who’s dressed well and looks neat. If a man cares about the way he looks, it is obvious to other people that he’s got something going on for himself and that he will probably be a better date.”

In other words, man + good wardrobe = dates with women! Got your attention now? Thought so.

And if you’re lucky enough to have a business casual dress policy at work, many of our tips can be applied to your office wardrobe as well. (By the way, if you’re in the market for a suit, you must check out “SYW Buy a Men’s Suit?”)

By the way, this article is for beginners who want some simple secrets for building a basic wardrobe and improving their general appearance-it’s not meant to turn you into a trendy hipster overnight. So you’ll find no references to long fur coats, shiny shirts, or updated cowboy hats.

1. Groom Yourself

Your body is a temple that deserves to be worshipped. But first, it’s time for a spiritual awakening. Before you even begin to think about revamping your wardrobe, you first have to perform some basic grooming. Yes, we know you bathe on a daily basis and wear (relatively) clean clothes, but the following items are notoriously (and wrongly) ignored by men:

Nails

Hair

Eyebrows

moustache or beard

anti-perspirant

Cologne

Think waxing and plucking is just for women? Not true. There are many men out there who suffer from the infamous unibrow – when two eyebrows appear as one because of a continuous bridge of hair. If this sounds a little too familiar, then it’s time for you to tame those babies.

There are two ways to alleviate this problem:

Go to a professional salon (or a Hair & Esthetics College for better pricing) and have them wax and shape your eyebrows. It will cost around $10-$15. After you get your eyebrows initially waxed, you can maintain them at home by plucking the hairs as they grow back with a pair of tweezers. WE RECOMMEND THIS METHOD! If you accidentally go tweezer-crazy, who knows what kind of damage you may inflict?

Wax them at home. This method is a little risky, and you will need a trusted friend to help you (and we do stress trusted). But at home waxing can be done. We recommend watching an at home waxing video for step-by-step instructions on how to wax your eyebrows yourself.

Pluck ’em yourself. We don’t advocate this method, but if you refuse to cough up the $10 or are afraid of salons, it’s better than nothing. Just be sure to pluck the middle (that is, any hairs growing on your nose bridge).

Whatever you do, you must not-we repeat, MUST NOT-shave your eyebrows. Not only will the hair grow back faster and thicker, it will also be pretty obvious that you took a razor to ’em. Plucking is the only way to go.

Nails

People notice your hands-they are a part of how you express yourself when you are communicating, so you need to take care of them. So here’s how to make your nails look nice:

If you are a nail biter, stop immediately. There is nothing grosser than a pair of gnarled, ragged fingernails that have been chewed down to the knuckle.

On the other hand (pun alert), long fingernails on men are equally disturbing. So it’s important to keep them short enough so that you don’t hurt people during handshakes.

Get a professional manicure (more manly than you think!) or invest in a pair of fingernail clippers and a fingernail file and do it yourself at home. Pay attention to cuticles and hangnails.

Toenails are also important. Whether the ladies are seeing your feet on the beach or in bed, nasty toenails are a complete turnoff. Keep them trimmed and keep them clean.

Hair

Basically, hair is easy: don’t be afraid to get haircuts, and make sure you comb it before you leave your home.

Most men don’t get haircuts frequently enough, which contributes to an overall sloppy look. So after you get one, ask your cutter when you should come in next, and make an appointment. (Our recommendation is once every five weeks.) If you like the unkempt rock star look, keep the length to a minimum and make sure your hair isn’t greasy. At the other extreme, the crew cut military look is no good (unless, of course, you are in the military).

For men who use styling products in their hair, they are often fall victim to SFS, or Shiny Forehead Syndrome. This is when the styling product you are using in your hair gets all over your forehead leaving a shiny film. The solution is simple. Wash your forehead after you are finished styling your hair.

Cologne

In the wild, animals are able to identify others by scent. But they also smell each other’s asses to sniff said scent. The moral: be careful when selecting and applying cologne. Here are our tips:

You should never wear a brand of cologne that you can buy in a gas station or drugstore (translation: cheap cologne).

Go to a department store and get a quality brand.

Ask your sisters and chick friends to recommend one. They would know best.

Don’t rely on what smells good on a friend; different colognes smell different on different people. So test a small amount on your forearm, give it a minute to seep in, and then smell it.

You shouldn’t mix one brand of antiperspirant or aftershave with another brand of cologne. You’ll smell like a mess.

The most common error: don’t pour too much of it on. You don’t want your scent to arrive in a room before you do. And neither do we.

2. Clean Out Your Closet

You’ve graduated from college. You’re out in the real world now and it’s time to trade in your T-shirts and Tevas for a sophisticated, stylish, adult wardrobe. Yes, we know it’s hard to let go of that worn-out flannel shirt you wore during finals in school, but what looked good in 1993 just doesn’t cut it now, Cobain.

If you have a friend (male or female) who is fashion capable, have him/her help you go through your closet and toss out anything that is outdated and/or objectionable. Of course you can keep that trusty old flannel shirt for sentiment’s sake, but refrain from wearing it out in public.

Just in case you need some additional help, we feel compelled to tell you that the following items in your closet must be burned immediately:

Anything that is neon, stonewashed, or acid-washed.

T-shirts featuring the words “Big Johnson,” “Co-ed Naked,” “Whassup,” or any popular catchphrases.

Tapered-leg high-waisted pants that are heavy on the pleats (Cavariccis, anyone?).

Tie-dyed garments with dancing bears. You’re living in the past, man.

M.C. Hammer pants. You’re living way in the past, man.

A word about fit

One of the biggest fashion mistakes men make is wearing clothes that don’t fit properly. From casual wear to suits, clothes that are too tight or too baggy are big fashion gaffes.

Even if you can bounce a quarter off of your stomach, wearing tight clothing just looks tacky. Some men think that if they wear pants that are too small, it’ll make them look skinnier. Rather, it’s just an effective method of damaging your intestines and gonads. So use the two-finger test: if you can’t easily stick two fingers (sideways) into the waist of your pants, they’re too tight.

Unless you’re an extra in a Puff Daddy video, wearing big, baggy clothes looks sloppy and gives the impression that you don’t care about your appearance. You know your clothes are too baggy when they continually get caught on doorknobs or small children. You should never have to continually hike your pants up throughout the day.

Most retail and department stores and dry cleaners will do alterations, so seek out a professional to make sure you’re buying clothes that fit properly.

And if you don’t already, you should consider subscribing to a men’s fashion magazine such as MAXIM (we plug our gurus). If you don’t want to pay for a year’s subscription, at least grab an issue off the rack at the start of each season just to see what’s new in fashion. Don’t forget to pay for it, she smiles

3. Buy Some Basics

You want to look good from head to toe, but there’s a good chance that you’re on a budget. So we’re going to start you off with a few “must-have” basics to get your wardrobe rolling. Then, as your wallet expands, so can your wardrobe.

Where should you go to buy your fancy new duds? Department stores offer one-stop shopping for those of you who loathe shopping. Trusty retail stores such as Banana Republic and J. Crew are always safe bets (especially if you don’t mind the “preppy” look). If you prefer a hipper look, check out stores such as Club Monaco.

Here’s a big tip on how to save money: Everything at retail stores eventually goes on sale, usually at the end of a season. For example, summer clothes will go on sale in late August. Be careful though. Sales are good for items that are basic staples (e.g., khaki pants, dress shirts, T-shirts), but not for trendier items that were popular at the start of a season but not appropriate to wear the next year.

Once you’ve determined where you want to shop, it’s time to start building your wardrobe with these basic items:

-Shirts

-Pants

-Shoes

-Accessories (belts, ties, watches, jewelry)

Shirts

Stan insists that you must own at least one crisp, white, high-quality, cotton shirt-you just can’t go wrong with it. Buy one with a full-fashion collar that you can use with a collar stay and that can be worn with a tie. This way you can wear this shirt to work or out at night. Button-up dress shirts are generally good choices, as long as you buy one that is high-quality and a nice color. And since you’re building the basics, stick with colors like blue and white.

You also can’t go wrong with a high, V-neck sweater made of a quality material. Try Merino wool, or if you’re really in the mood to splurge, cashmere says class and it feels great against the skin. V-neck sweaters look great for dates and dinners, and for casual dress days at work.

Also, be sure to wear a short-sleeve, white T-shirt under your shirts and sweaters. Not only does this protect your tops from sweat and deodorant stains, it makes you look adult-y and fashion-y.

Pants

If you’re on a budget, there are three pairs of pants that you must purchase: a pair of dress pants, a pair of khakis and a pair of blue jeans.

-Dress pants.

Most men don’t own dress pants unless they are suit pants, but even if you own suits, you need a separate pair of dress pants. You might be tempted to go for a standard black pair, but navy blue is very modern while still being non-flashy. -“Black is a safe bet.” Exactly. A safe bet, but note that navy says that you might know a little something about style.

If you wear suits to work, go ahead and splurge on a really nice (that is, expensive) pair of dress pants and get them professionally tailored. You will wear them all the time and it will be worth the investment. It’s better to have one nice pair of pants instead of five cheap pair.

-Khakis.

For a more casual look, you need to have a nice pair of khaki or light-colored pants. It’s a good idea to have a couple pairs of these pants because you can just wash them and iron them at home (or if you’re particularly lazy, get a pair of wrinkle-free khakis). Then if you’re in a hurry, you will always have a clean pair to toss on.

Blue jeans. When purchasing jeans, Stan suggests buying a nice pair of dark wash jeans with a clean cut and style. Make sure they fit nicely (that is, don’t buy ultra baggy jeans or jeans that aren’t a standard length). Dark jeans will always look good and can be dressed up at night.

A general rule of thumb for any type of pants you purchase is not to buy pants with pleats-stick with flat front pants. They have cleaner lines and just look neater. Also avoid anything fancy, so that your pants can be stretched throughout your wardrobe without anybody noticing. For instance, if you only own one pair of khakis and they are really flashy, people will notice if you wear them all the time. The horror! However, if you buy a standard pair of plain khaki pants, no one will notice if you wear them all the time; they’ll just assume that you have five pairs of khakis.

-Shoes

Whereas women are required to have at least two dozen pairs of shoes, men usually own a measly two pairs: a pair of sneakers for bumming around and a pair of dress shoes for work. But, can you guess what one of the first things a woman notices about a man is? It’s not your charming personality, it’s your shoes.

If you want pointers on buying the perfect pair of sneakers, we’ve got you covered with an entire SYW on the subject.

Buying dress shoes is slightly more complicated. First off, you should be prepared to pay at least $125. Sounds hefty, but remember, quality over quantity. You can wear the best outfit in the world, but if your shoes suck, you might as well be wearing a potato sack.

“There is absolutely no excuse for wearing shoes that are not polished or one where the heel has worn off or the leather looks worn.” He also says, ideally, your shoes will match your belt which will match your briefcase. Nothing looks worse than a brown belt worn with a black pair of shoes and a tan briefcase. Except if all three are covered with hearts and unicorns.

A few dressy-ish options:

-Boots.

If you can only afford to purchase one more pair of shoes, Stan prefers that you go with a black leather boot. We don’t mean a cowboy boot or a pair of Doc Martens; we’re talking about a boot that is an inch or two above your ankle with a nice heel and a conservative, round-capped toe. This way you can wear them both for work and for going out at night.

-Slip-ons.

If you are morally opposed to boots, Stan’s suggested alternative is a pair of nice leather slip-on shoes. These shoes are sort of loafer-ish, and they have a high vamp that covers your socks.

-Tied.

If you prefer shoes that tie, look for a nice pair of leather shoes with a toe that is more square than round. Try to find a pair that is casual enough for khakis, but nice enough for dress pants. Avoid dress shoes with tassels or buckles.

Even if you practice good grooming, most men have unattractive feet. So, in the summer, while you might be tempted to wear sandals, it’s best for men to keep their toes covered at all times unless you live in Rome and carry a shield. For the two men on this planet who have good-looking feet, you are allowed to purchase a nice pair of leather slides if you are dying to flaunt your toes.

-Accessories (belts, ties, watches, jewelry)

While there isn’t a lot of variety in men’s clothing, accessories are an opportunity to individualize your look. Belts, ties, watches and jewelry can sometimes be even more expensive than the suit you are wearing, but you don’t need many of them, and you don’t necessarily have to spend a fortune. Here’s the lowdown on how to put the finishing touches on your outfit:

-Belts.

You need two belts: one for dress pants and one for khakis and jeans (never wear your dress belt with your casual pants or vice versa). Also, your casual belt should be wider than your dress belt.

-Ties.

You can have fun with your tie collection, but keep up with the trends. If skinny ties are in, then take a gulp and go buy a skinny tie for that season-but that season only. Try to avoid cartoon ties or polyester. They’re dorky. And learn to properly tie the thing by watching this video on How to Tie a Tie.

-Watches.

Buy the nicest watch you can afford. If you only buy one watch, buy a simple, classy watch that will match with anything. Avoid bells and whistles. Don’t buy a diving watch or a sports watch, unless you are a diving instructor or an athlete. In that case, buy a second watch.

-Jewelry.

Aside from wearing a watch and the occasional pair of cufflinks, jewelry should be kept to a minimum. Unless you are married, you shouldn’t wear rings unless it’s a class ring (and even that is questionable). If you wear a chain, keep it simple, and only wear one (or a group of rogue disco dancers may start to boogie around you).

4. Stick With A Look

OK, so you have your basic clothes. So now your job is to find a look that works, stick with it, and milk it for all it’s worth. Stan recommends that the best way to take advantage of your new fashion savvy is to assemble a “uniform.”

This is a foolproof method:

Once you find a style of pants that work for you, buy five pairs. Buy them in colors such as black, navy and khaki that can be easily mixed and matched with a variety of tops.

Once you find a type of shirt and V-neck sweater that looks good on you, buy several of them in different colors.

If you have a business casual dress policy at work, assembling a uniform will make your life much easier in the morning. Plus, a business casual policy means you can stretch that work wardrobe into an evening wardrobe, which should encourage you to splurge a little (since you don’t have to invest thousands of dollars on suits).

But what will people think if you wear the same type of outfit all the time? Consider this: What did Joe Co-worker wear last week? Can’t remember, right? Men are lucky. They can get away with wearing the same suit all week with a different tie and no one will notice. However, you DO remember the yellow suit Jane Co-Worker wore last week and wore again the following Tuesday. The slut. And besides, women won’t care if you have a limited wardrobe; they’re just happy you’re presentable and not drooling on yourself. That comes later.

What NOT to Wear – Personal Grooming Tips

You should always look presentable when you leave your house. This doesn’t mean you have to be dressed to the nines, but do take the time and effort to look presentable. You never know who you might run into – a boss, a client, or potential employer.

Never wear clothing that is torn, frayed, stained, or threadbare. clothing should also fit properly. It should not be too tight, too baggy, too big, too short or too low cut. Also, avoid clothing that is out of style – no matter how good of condition it may be in.

Deodorant Is Essential

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The use of deodorant is essential for good hygiene and personal Your grooming. Apply it daily. For some people, and depending on your activity level, more than once a day.

If you don’t like to apply processed chemicals to your body, health food stores sell natural deodorants. Being green does not give you permission to have body odor. Without the use of a deodorant, you will emit an unpleasant odor from your underarms. Most people find the odor offensive. If you have it frequently, you may find it difficult to socialize with others or hold a job. Nobody wants to share your funky smell.

It’s important for parents to talk to their young teenagers about the use of deodorant. Without a little coaching, teens may not realize when they need to start applying it as their body matures.

Do Not Spritz at the Table

Personal grooming is inappropriate at the table. Do not comb your hair, apply lipstick, file your nails, or, the most recent etiquette I observed, apply perfume.

I was enjoying dinner at a restaurant the other evening when a woman, sitting in the booth behind me, applied perfume from a spray bottle. The odor was so intense I could only taste and smell her perfume for the remainder of my meal. My dining experience was ruined and I left with a headache.

Never apply perfume, body mists, or scented lotions in a public place – especially at a restaurant. In fact, when dining, wear verylittle perfume or none at all so your senses can appreciate the taste and aroma of the food without distraction.

Gentlemen, this rule applies to your cologne and aftershave too.

No Comb-overs Please – Male Grooming

Combing a long piece of hair from one side of your head over to the other side might make you feel more confident about your imageviolation  and the fact you’re losing your hair, but it doesn’t fool anyone and makes you look like you’re insecure about your hair loss.

First of all, balding is not shameful. It’s a normal fact of life. Some very sexy and famous men are/were bald. Think of Telly Savalis, Yul Brynner, Samuel Jackson, Sean Connery, Bruce Willis, and Vin Diesel.

As you begin to lose your hair, find a good hair stylist who can help you make the most of what you’ve got.

Men Need Manicures Too

Gentlemen, manicures are not a grooming process for women only. It’s important for men to have handsome hands. They will be noticed in a professional environment as well as a social or dating environment. Ladies do not find dirty hands or fingernails appealing.Nails should be short and cut to the quick. If you are a nail biter, it’s time to break the habit. Hands, especially the area underneath the nails, should be kept clean.

Find a good manicurist and visit them at least once a month. They will remove or push back unsightly cuticles, trim and shape your nails, and buff the surface of the nail. Some men like a clear coat of polish on their nails to protect the nail and give a well groomed appearance, but this last step is a personal preference only.In between manicures, use tools you can purchase at any drugstore to maintain your nails. These tools may include nail clippers, a file or emery board, an orange stick to push cuticles back, and a nail brush to keep your nails and hands clean.

While you’re taking care of your fingernails, don’t forget to check your toenails. For some women, including yours truly, unsightly toenails are a turnoff.Finally, if you need more incentive to visit a nail salon other than maintaining your nails, you will be surrounded by a bevy of women who will adore you. I can’t think of many other places where there’s such a good male to female ratio and the only thing the men have to do is sit and be pampered.

What Side Should You Wear A Pocket Watch On?A pocket watch should be worn on the opposite side of your dominate hand. You should be able to write with one hand and check the accurate time with the other.

Always Have a Tissue Handy

It’s that time of year again when our noses tend to do more than we consciously ask of them. They run, sneeze, tickle, and clog up. Most annoyingly, they do these things at the most inconvenient times such as when you’re giving a presentation, in an interview, or on a date.

To out smart the foul plays of our noses, I suggest having a tissue available at all times to handle all unsuspecting circumstances. It is most improper to use alternatives to the tissue such as your sleeve, hand, or on-going sniffling.Place a tissue in your pocket before leaving the house. Since ladies don’t always have pockets in their attire, they may want to place a tissue in their handbag or tuck one in the sleeve of their outfit.

You may even want to consider purchasing a small pack of tissues to have in your desk drawer, briefcase, coat pocket or purse. You will not only have enough to take care of your nasal needs, but can come to the rescue of others too.

Remember, what goes in the pocket, must come out. Please don’t forget to take the tissue out of your pocket at the end of the day. A tissue is not welcome when discovered in the laundry at the end of the wash cycle.

Test Fabrics For Wrinkles – Professional Attire

Professionals frequently have days when they have to look as crisp and neat at a dinner meeting as they did at their early morning staff meeting. One key to mastering this skill is to select professional attire made with quality fabrics that wear well.

Before purchasing an item of clothing, give it the wrinkle test. Scrunch the fabric in your hand and hold for a few seconds. After releasing the fabric, observe how the fabric looks. Does it wrinkle? If so, are the wrinkles falling out? If the wrinkles do not fall out, this item may not be a good addition to your professional wardrobe.

Because I like to spend my time doing things other than ironing, I give this test to all my clothing purchases, casual and professional, so I can always look my best with a minimal amount of care for my wardrobe.

Also, consider giving this test to clothing before selecting it to pack in a suitcase for a trip. Making the right clothing selections before you arrive will allow you to look your best in a moment’s notice while on the road.How To Hold Or Carry Gloves

The subject matter of my posts often come from recent experiences in my life. This is how I selected today’s topic, “How To Hold Or Carry Gloves”.

I am performing in a local community theater production and the chorus girls are required to wear gloves. During one of the musical numbers, they must take the gloves off and carry them. Of course, I was quick to share the proper etiquette for carrying gloves with the showgirls and would like to share this etiquette lesson with you as well. Even though we infrequently wear gloves in a social setting anymore, we do wear them in cold weather and the same rules do apply.

When carrying or holding gloves, hold them by the fingers. This keeps the visual image very neat and organized. If you were to hold them at the wrist end, the fingers would be flapping and look sloppy.

Did you know there is a glove flirtation code? For example, if a lady drops one glove, she is saying yes. If she drops both gloves, it means, “I love you”. Don’t jump to any conclusions too quickly. In today’s world, she may have very well dropped the glove because her hands were full.

Perhaps for fun, I’ll share the entire code with you in a future post.Attire – Flip Flops

Flip flops, which are flat rubber thonged sandals, are summer casual beachwear. They are meant to be worn at the beach with swim wear or worn casually with shorts. They are also frequently seen in locker room showers.

Never ever are flip flops to be worn with dressy attire or to a nice restaurant during dinner hours.This evening, while dining in a nicer restaurant, I was admiring the lovely dress of the young lady seated next to me and looked down to notice she was wearing flip flops! As I was leaving the restaurant, I saw another young lady wearing flip flops with a social pant suit. In both cases, what could have been a very flattering, elegant look, was killed by the flip flops. What surprised me even more was the fact they were donning these flip flops when the temperature was still less than 50 degrees. That is not a beach wear demanding temperature by my standards.

A few years ago, I remember reading an article about a college student wearing flip flops with a sun dress when she visited the President at the White House. Her mother was appalled when she saw the photo in the newspaper.

Shoes need to be appropriate to the attire we are wearing. Casual shoes are worn with casual attire. Dress shoes are worn with business, Sunday, or evening attire. Evening sandals, satin shoes, or shoes adorned with beading and sequins are worn with evening, cocktail, and social attire.

Remember to keep the theme and color consistent. Hopefully, you would not wear an evening gown with white sneakers to gym class. Would you?

After Hours and Weekend Business Attire

If you are going in to the office after hours or on the weekend, you should dress in casual business attire such as khakis and a button down or polo shirt. Clothes should be clean and pressed just as they would be during the workday.

Do not wear the clothes you lounge around the house in such as old jeans, tennis shoes, and a sweatshirt. You may feel comfortable in them, but you never know who you might see at the office or who might see you walking in.

A professional image should always be maintained in order to positively represent yourself and the company you work for.

Undergarments Should be an Understatement

In today’s fashion industry, it is sometimes difficult to determine if certain pieces of attire are to be worn under or over other pieces of clothing. Young adults are wearing undergarments over garments and readily show more than just the formerly dreaded visible pantie line from rear end views.

What has happened to our modesty? Whether you call them undergarments, underwear, or foundations, they are defined as clothing worn next to the skin under other clothing. These garments are designed to enhance the look and fit of our clothing and should not be seen.I like to compare it to a theatrical performance. Do you want to see the backstage crew changing the scenery and hanging the lights or do you want to enjoy the magic and beauty of the theater as it effortlessly appears before our eyes?

I know the younger generations don’t believe in always wearing the appropriate undergarment – think Britney Spears and her friends – but following these guidelines can work magic without exercise and dieting.

1. Not only wear a bra, but wear the correct size of bra. There should not be any skin bulging over the sides of the bra and the back strap should not be riding up. Please, give our ladies a fighting chance against gravity. Once they are stretched out, they never recover.

2. If you are wearing a sheer or lightweight fabric, consider a bra with light padding to keep your headlights turned off.

3. Wear a bra close in color to your blouse or top. Beige works well under white clothing. I don’t want to see a black bra with a white blouse or white bra with a black top.

4. Hide the straps. Wear a strapless bra with camisole andstrapless tops. If you’re wearing a top with a racer back cut, choose a racer back bra. Don’t use clear straps. They’re still straps that are showing.

5. No VPL – Visible Pantie Lines. Check your rear view before leaving the house. There are so many products out there promising no pantie lines – find them. Thongs are also an option. Try wearing shape wear or pantyhose under your clothing. If the lines still show, perhaps you’re wearing your clothing too tightly. Most importantly, I don’t want to see your underwear when you bend  forward. I don’t care how cute they are.

6. Got junk in the trunk or tummy bulge? There is new and improved comfortable shape wear out there. Take five pounds off instantly!

7. Wear a slip under dresses and skirts, especially those unlined. It will help the fabric fall nicely, eliminate static cling and avoids giving a light shadow show. Be sure to wear a black slip with dark clothing and a white or beige slip with lightly colored clothing. If there is a slit in the skirt, the slip should also have a slit to be positioned accordingly.

8. Gentlemen should wear undershirts under their shirts. I do not want to see your chest hair or headlights.

9. Guys, whether you wear boxers or briefs, make sure they fit correctly. No VPL and nothing that resembles carrying a load from the rear view. Don’t wear dark underwear with lightly colored clothing. Wear your slacks high enough on your waist so what you’re wearing underneath remains a mystery.

10. Males and females should both be sure nothing is jiggling or swinging when exercising. I prefer not to see the visual, but most importantly protect your health and body parts. There are garments specifically designed for the heavy duty stress of exercising. Please, oh please, do wear them under your exercise attire. You wouldn’t run a marathon in flip flops would you?

Non-verbal Communicaton – Your Stance

People form an opinion about you within the first seven seconds of visual contact with you. It is imperative you are always aware of your body language to give a good first impression.

When standing, consider the following guidelines:

1. Stand with a straight back, shoulders back, and head lifted to convey self-confidence. Do not lean on objects to help prop you up.

2. Hands should rest comfortably at your sides. Avoid placing your hands in your pockets. If you feel the need to do something with your hands, clasp them behind your back. Doing so will help your posture and make you appear approachable. Clasping your hands in front rounds your shoulders decreasing the perception of confidence.

3. Do not cross your arms in front. Non-verbally, you are closing the lines of communication.4. Stand with both feet firmly planted on the floor. Crossing your legs at the ankles makes you appear insecure.

Tucking Your Tie in Your Pants

In the past week, I have seen more ties tucked into pants than I wish to see in a lifetime.Gentlemen, do not tuck your ties into your pants. If the tie is long enough to tuck in, there are some other factors that need to be addressed.

1. Your tie is too long. Shortening a tie is one of the easiest alterations that can be made. If you need to, have it shortened.

2. You are wearing your pants too high. Your waistband shouldrest on your waist, not above your stomach and under your pectoral muscles. I’ve always wondered how one can breath with a belt cinched so tightly around this part of a rib cage?

If you are working with a piece of machinery and fear your tie will get caught, tuck it into your shirt if you must tuck. Please do not forget to “untuck” when the danger at hand subsides.

Lipstick on a Drinking GlassIf you wear lipstick, blot your lips with a tissue before drinking from a glass to avoid leaving your lip markings on the edge of the glass.

Sometimes it is impossible to avoid leaving a lip mark on a glass even if you aren’t wearing lipstick. If you notice a lip mark, try to drink from the same spot each time so you don’t leave your mark around the entire rim of the glass.

Men are not excluded from this rule. Many of you wear a lip balm to protect your lips from sun and wind damage. Please follow the same protocol as the ladies do for their lipstick.

First Impressions

Research indicates people form judgmental opinions of others within the first seven seconds of meeting.

55% is based on visual perception

38% is based on tone of voice

7% is based on the actual words spoken

Prospective customers select people they like to work with.

What type of image are you or your company projecting?

Personal Grooming – Fingernails

Fingernails should be maintained at all times. This includes both ladies and gentlemen. The hand can divulge a great deal of  information about someone’s personality and work habits. Nails should be clean, evenly cut, and cuticles pushed back.

Professional manicures are not within everyone’s budget. If you are able to get regular manicures, be sure the length of your manicure is appropriate for the professional environment you work in.

Do not clip or pick at your nails in public!

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Grooming and Style for women

How to Dress-up a Daytime Outfit (Women)

Instructions

Step 1:

The easiest way to make a big change from day to night is to swap individual garments instead of your entire outfit. Maybe just switch into a more elegant top or change from jeans into a skirt. It will make a big statement by altering the overall look, giving the impression that it’s an entirely new outfit (even if everything else is the same).

Step 2:

If you need to make a change from day to night without altering any of the main garments of your outfit, add new shoes! Flashy high-heels are very sexy and are attention grabbing so they will change the whole make-up of your outfit. And it takes 30 seconds to change your shoes so you can do this on the go!

Step 3:

Jazz up your jewelry. Change from toned-down day/work jewelry to something that makes more of a statement. This doesn’t necessarily mean BIGGER jewelry, just something bold that really stands out like a beautiful necklace, flashy earrings or a bright cocktail ring.

Find pieces of jewelry that accent your daytime outfit but dress it up more as well. Combined with a few other changes (shoes, bag) it will become a whole new look! (This is great if you’re hurrying to dinner, but don’t have time to change.)

Step 4:

Swap your day bag, which most women fit EVERYTHING into, for a smaller clutch at night. The big bag is very functional for the day, but it’s also frumpy and heavy looking. Whether you are headed out for dinner, to a show or for drinks with your friends at night, you won’t need much more than some cash, cards, touch-up makeup and your phone. You will look more elegant with a smaller bag, it will dress up your outfit and believe me, you DON’T need the big bag!

Step 5:

Change your hair or freshen up your makeup. The point is to freshen up your day look for night, quickly and efficiently. After a long, busy day you need to wake up more than just your clothing. Touch-up your makeup and maybe put your hair up (or take it down). That small change will give you more confidence and make you feel more prepared for your evening, even with just small accents brightening your wardrobe.

Step 6:

Regardless of what you are wearing, your personality will stand out the most and will be what you want to be remembered for, rather than your clothing. So be confident. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and fabulous. Use these steps to quickly update your day look and make it more dressy, and then feel good about it. You look great.

Dating Etiquette

There are many common mistakes that a woman generally makes when on a date. There are some women who generally place all men under a single category and judge them accordingly. This indeed is not the right approach and when you are dating a male the sole factor that you should remember is that he is a person to spend quality time with. If you are optimistic with males you have the tendency of that positive outlook being reflected on your face. This optimistic attitude will also reflect in your conversation and you can make your date a memorable one not only for yourself but for him too.

When you are on a date it is very important for you to smile as that will make you feel relaxed and him comfortable. You should refrain from making public statements in the presence of your man as this may come across as male bashing at times. You should also, as mentioned above, remain positive, not only towards your date, but also during the entire conversation. Remember you must behave like a lady and exercise a certain degree of self control when you are in a public place and in the company of the man you are interested in.

When you are dating a man you do not need to be raunchy unless both of you are interested in a one night stand. Men like to observe a certain kind of sweetness in women and this is the reason why you should put on your best manners and etiquette. You should be graceful and not aggressive or too critical of your date. You should be spontaneous and go with the flow in instead of making unfair assumptions. You should also refrain from inappropriate topics and you should not expect him to cuddle you up on the first date itself as the time for that has not arrived.

When you are on a date you should not be afraid to give or receive compliments. Do not be shy and go ahead and tell your date what you see positive in him. Be polite and do not forget to say “please” and “thank you.” You should have a sense of balance and at the same time be very calm and composed even if there are small mishaps like the waiter spilling something on your dress or the car not starting. Take everything in your stride and do not over react if something goes wrong. The right attitude is all you need for a date and you must do it to make your date a success!