10 Need to Know Tips for Online Dating

1. Trust Your Gut Instinct

Your instinct is a powerful medium for knowing when something doesn’t feel right. It is also a great way to measure when to move forward with someone and when to turn and run. As you read profiles, responses to emails, have phone conversations, and meet in person your instincts help tell you if something is “right” or if something is out of alignment. The “out of alignment” message is your cue to be careful, back off, or proceed with extreme caution. Trust your gut instinct, it’s the most powerful psychological tool you have at your disposal.

2. Don’t Provide Personal Information Too Soon

Your home phone number and full name provide easy ways to track who you are and where you live. Armed with just your home phone number, a person can easily gain access to your income information, home address, and even learn the value of your home. Armed with your first and last name, a person can do searches to determine quite a bit of information on you – where you work, what you do, and even what your home phone number is. So in the initial stages of communication, guard your personal information. As far as phone communication, see the next tip.

3. Use a Free Email Account

If you decide to move your communication from the anonymous email feature provided by the majority of online dating services then provide an email address that isn’t your regular one. Sign up for a free Yahoo!, Hotmail, or Gmail account that you use just for online dating. Don’t put your full name in the From field – only your first name or something else. This protects you from a person being able to search your normal email address to find out more information about you.

4. Use a Cell Phone or Anonymous Phone Service to Chat

When it’s time to move your communication to the next level (talking on the phone), never give out your home phone number. Either provide a cell phone number, use Skype to communicate, or use an anonymous phone service. It’s just an added protection barrier until you get to know the person better.

5. Beware of Married People

It’s unfortunate, but a lot of married people do use online dating services. They’ll even go as far as to meet people. A few years ago, MSNBC reported that a study found that up to 30% of people using online dating services are married! To help you in determining whether a person is married or not, read the Online Dating Magazine article, “Staying Clear of Married Men”.

6. Look for Questionable Characteristics in Your Communication

As you chat via email and on the phone you may be able to start to pick out characteristics of the other person. Are they controlling? Do they seem to anger easily? Do they avoid some of your questions? These can be questionable characteristics that tell you it’s time to move on.

7. Ask for a Recent Photo

There’s nothing wrong in asking someone if their photos are recent. If they don’t have a photo, request a recent one. It’s important for you to get a good look at the person you may eventually meet. Plus your instincts from your communications and their photos may provide you with valuable insight into the person. Plus, if they tell you the photo is recent and you meet and see a major difference, then you’ll know the person lied and can cut the date short. If a person lies about their photo or profile then that is a red flag to no longer pursue the relationship.

8. Stick With Paid Online Dating Services

Free online dating services provide a greater opportunity for potentially dangerous individuals. They don’t ever have to provide a credit card or other information that identifies them. There is some truth to the saying, “you get what you pay for”.

9. Don’t Get a False Sense of Security

Some online dating services claim to offer “background checks” and when signing up for such a service you may find it easier to let your guard down. Don’t. Laws differ from province-to-province when it comes to background checks and there are even a few provinces where checks can’t be effectively performed. Because of the inconsistency, criminals/wrong doers can and do get into services that do “background checks”. Never let your guard down.

10. Meet in a Public Place for Your First Meeting

When it’s time to schedule that first exciting face-to-face meeting, arrange to meet in a public place and provide your own transportation. Your initial meeting will tell you a lot about the other person, including whether or not he/she lied in their profile. Your gut instincts will kick in. Never accept an offer to be picked up at your house. Make sure that a friend knows where you are at and who you are with.

By following these tips, you’ll help protect yourself from being an easy prey to someone who may have ulterior motives. With an average of 100+ marriages a day from online dating, you can see that the experience can be both safe and rewarding. Keep it safe!

Related Links:

http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/articles/datingsafely.html

http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com/features/safeonlinedating.html

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Top 8 Reasons Why Online Dating is Great!

1. Know Thyself. Whether through the free personality profile, or the practice of filling out a self-summary on any online date site, sitting down and figuring out who you are and where you fit within the broader scheme of things is a good idea. If you can’t figure out and put into complete sentences who you are and where your interests lie, then perhaps it’s a red flag that you should take some time out to develop yourself.

2. Figure out what you’re looking for. Do you know what you want in a relationship? Or exactly what types of men/women interest you? More often than not in the off-line world of bars and cubicles, we limit ourselves to what’s immediately available. From the last man/woman standing at Finns Irish Pub happy hour to that cute guy working in marketing on the 7th floor, we take what’s put in front of us instead of going after what we know we want and need. Set some standards then apply them. By qualifying your dating preferences, you both open up and constrain your possibilities at the same time. Even the simple indication that you are looking for single, straight men/women, ages35-50, within 100 miles of your area code and a non-smoker is enough to keep you from chasing pipe dreams. Add that he must love 2 ½ men and who knows what new love opportunities may come your way.

3. It’s a great networking and skill-building opportunity. Being able to sit down with a complete stranger and have a conversation is a great skill to have, and one that will serve you well both professionally and personally. So the date is a flop … so he/she‘s shorter than expected, is loud, wears strong cologne and looks like a troll … the upside of sitting through a dinner with this person is that he/she has opened you up to a whole new world! He/she’s a coordinator of a huge event, he/she’s introduced you to whole new world of friends. His/her work is introducing you to that event. Score! Maybe not a love match, but now you have tickets to the hottest show in town!

 4. Practice makes perfect. As they say, practice makes perfect and nowhere is this mantra truer than with dating. There’s an art to flirting, an art to chatting someone up. An art to going in for the kiss and to denying access to your chambers. Or, alternatively, giving them the green light. It makes it that much easier on a real date if you’ve had a series of “fake” dates to bone up on your skills.

5. You don’t have to be too serious… About this date or any others, whether they began online or off. Really, if you haven’t dated for a while, when that chance finally comes up sometimes it’s hard keeping it from becoming more than it really is. Having recently been on a series of dates, and with numerous ones scheduled on the horizon, helps take the pressure off and stress out of a “real” date. Likewise, it gives you alternative ways to spend your post-date time rather than counting down the days, hours or minutes to when he calls you back.

6. Bringing dating back. Once upon a time people used to date. Your parents might have told you about it, it was nice: A fella’ picked you up, you went out for a shake and some putt-putt, you talked, maybe necked. You went out on more dates. You got to know each other. Maybe it went somewhere, maybe it didn’t. The plus side is that you got to know someone and they got to know you. And in times like this, it really is nice to make that human connection. What’s more, casual dating allows you to entertain multiple men at the same time without the stigma of being called a slut. Limiting your romantic pursuits to weekend hookups is a dead end. Give yourself choices in who you date, what you do, and where you meet them.

7. It can often mean a great meal. Despite recessionary economics, a guy will still likely pay for a drink or two—just make sure you don’t treat them like a meal ticket. One lady has this to say about it:

I’ll go out with most people online, provided they seem normal and I think I could manage a decent conversation with them. And why not? It beats sitting at home watching television.

As a girl online, you’ll find yourself barraged by men. Why not take a few up? So they might not be your Adonis, but why not meet up for some drinks, appetizers and conversation?

8. You just might meet someone. With the laws of statistics on your side, why go against the flow? You create your own luck, and waiting around for Mr. or Mrs. Right to find you is so over.

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